Tuesday's house of whores... no wait, horrors....

It’s Tuesday. Got me some sleep until the garbage trucks showed up at 4:40 this morning, but overall feeling pretty good today thus far.


Funk and Wagnalls has already been in my ear this morning with his overextended lines of bullshit! Dude you are one of the rare guys I don’t mind around this place. Don’t ruin it or I will throw you square under the wheels of the Toner Boy bus!!!!


No Friends is wearing a new outfit today. It matches like no one’s business, but it is a little on the flashy side for shopping on Rodeo Drive let alone working here! It is a tan colored long sleeve top, with solid silky material sleeves, see through panels on the front and back, about a 3 inch wide gold sequence collar all the way around the neck running down the center of the top in the front and back. This thing looks like a red carpet top I shit you not! It has big ass gold buttons with designs on them to top it all off. The rest of the outfit is fine. She is wearing a black tank under it so her little boobies don’t show and black slacks and high heel shoes. And I thought that I was the only person in this place starving for some attention. Damn.


I think that I need one of those new Chevy Volt’s if I am going to keep commuting for any length of time. They say that the car gets about 40 miles on the battery and about 30 MPG on the motor. It uses a regular plug to charge it up. I drive 47 miles to the office and there are outlets on the walls of the parking garage. Drive to work almost completely on just the battery, charge the car during lunch and before I go into the office to maybe get it 15 or so miles worth of battery life. That would mean I would maybe use about a half gallon of gas each day with my 94 mile round trip. It has a 9 gallon gas tank so that means that I could drive to work about 3 weeks on one tank of gas and a fill up would only cost me about $30! The car is only about $35K after the $7,500 tax credit. I need one of these cars or a job where I don't care anymore what I am paying in gas!


Nigerian police made a bust on confiscated 990 pounds of cocaine. Something tells me that the shipment was a full 1,000 pounds and the Nigerian police needed to fill some budget gaps with the missing 10!


Football season has kicked off with training camp in many parts of the country this week. Sorry ladies. For those of you not on full speaking terms anyway with your mate you might want to look at what Direct TV is currently offering. That is one hell of a deal and it includes the NFL package where you can watch every game! Yeah… I will be getting it. Might as well at least watch football, right? Sorry…. if I am not getting any, why should you? I might as put the rest of you in the same boat so I don’t have to hear about your damn sex lives! If you get this and still get THAT…. I no longer wish to speak with you. You will just be pissing me off twice as much. Yeah Sarge, Ass Clown, Johnny… I am talking to you guys! Guess it is payback from when I used to rule that roost and talk shit to you. Well touché you old farts! Touché.


Anyone looking to bowl the 3 man scratch league at Dublin this year? Yeah I know, I said bowl. Need to get out and do something and it looks like I did not make the cut of Friday’s in Fremont with Ducky and the boys. Not that I could do it anyway with the restaurant opening soon. My Friday’s are going to be booked. Let me know. I have been told that I am no bargain, but I can promise that I am worth the price of admission in entertainment!


It is so funny how the days here mirror life. When you have a lot to do, or if you are doing something that you enjoy, life just flies by before you know it. Sort of like the weekends. When there is nothing going on, or if you have something that you are looking forward to later in the day, life will just drag its fucking feet to the point of pissing you off. What am I looking forward to you ask? How about 5 o’clock and I can get the hell out of here!?!?!


I mean there is nothing going on and not a damn thing to do around this place. I have very little to write about and I am not very inspired by anyone’s stupidity at this point in the day, but I just had to do something! Maybe a walk to look at the newest graffiti around the building? This place is such a hole! I used to walk through my parking lot at work, wherever I was working at the time, and just admire the cars to see what I wanted to shop for next. Here I walk through the garage and try and figure out how most of them even made it front point A to point B!


Cracker sounds like he is on a roll over there. He has been pretty quiet of late. Wonder if he has been bringing the 2 liters to work again? Damn this economy! His 2 liters take away from my material. See how all of this crap rolls downhill? Next thing you know Searching for Quarters will be looking for nickels and Munson is going to replace the rubber hand with a hook. Wait… that would be good material. OK. I need to hope for that to happen!


The Looker just came over and told Ice Shaker, “Don’t get caught eating your lunch at your desk.” Two things…. first of all…. Why? WTF does it matter if we eat our lunch at our deskwhatever we need to do on our lunch hour if I am able to eat while working? Or even eat our lunch at our desk during our lunch hour? I mean really, who wants to mingle with these sheet stains for an hour? Second thing, and the most obvious, you are his boss! Isn’t that already being caught? God I hate this place, the people in it, and the entire thought process about how it is run.


Anyway is in his office talking to someone on the phone in Mandarin. Mid sentence…., “Blah, ping, chow, ANYWAY, pong, fling, sip…” and never skipped a beat. Just to hear him throw ‘anyway’ out there in mid-sentence like that like it belonged. That was funny ass shit! I swear there was not better name I could have given this guy!


The Great Gazoo just walked past wearing her headphones again. Wonder if she is listening to a broadcast from Mars on those things? God I need a picture of her wearing those things to post! Wonder if they would all pose for a group shot? I would just love that. I am going to find some pictures around this place. You just need to put a face to these people and it will make a LOT more sense to you what I am dealing with here. For those who went to school with me… Beaker would fit in with all of them! Hell he would probably be in management.


My posture is getting so bad sitting on my ass in this place all day I swear that one of these days my head is just going to snap off from my neck it hurts so bad.  Then again the fact that my shoulders are slouched over to express my disgust with working here.  Yet tense from... well working here, is not helping anything!


Wonder if Bill Engvall would donate a stack of his signs for me to hand out in this place? Penis just walked up to me while I had the side off of a computer replacing the hard drive in it. I have a drive in my hand, a cable in my mouth and I am up to my elbows in the case. He asks, “You busy doing anything?” I SO badly wanted to tell him, “Nope. I hide all of my replacement parts in the working computers so no one steals them. I mean who is going to look for them in here?” Here’s your sign. What was even worse is that he wanted to ask me about doing a change in a training book that I had already done, and he had asked me to do before about a month ago. Guess if you would have looked at it first you would have known if it was done or not, huh? Glad he is leading the troops here and not overseas!


Went down to the kitchen to fill up my water bottle and I can’t help but laugh. Because of the ethnic diversity around her,e and the types of food that people eat, it has a big picture on the front of the microwaves about the types of food that you are not allowed to heat up in them because of the smell. So two of the things that are on there are fish and popcorn. There is a lady pulling what smells like a girls locker room on a hot day after gym class out of one, and the other sounds like pop rocks had been dropped into a half empty soda bottle. Nope. No seafood or popcorn here!


On that note of stupidity.


Toner Boy