Quick hits....

Yeah, yeah.  Happy whatever day.  Piss off and just read....

Cracker just answered a call from his wife and on his end the conversation sounded like this...

“Yeah? (You know, that alternative way to answer a phone instead of hello.)
*Pause*
What do you mean?
*Pause*
You treat me like shit. You don’t even pay attention to me, and then when you do you patronize me. How dumb do you think I am?
*Long Paws* (For you Friends fans out there.)(Obviously needing the extra time to explain how dumb she thinks he is.)
No I am going to go and see my mom. (From what I have gathered is not doing really well.)
*Quick Pause*
No I don’t want you to go.
*Click*
Fuck off.”

I say, “Who doesn’t love, love?” (For my NASCAR fans.) “I love, love.”

Why is it that I feel there will be no makeup sex happening there tonight?

As I am typing this Corn on the Cob Through a Tennis Racket calls -

"Hi this is C.O.T.C.T.A.T.R. how are you?
Good.
I have no idea what I did but now it locks when I leave it."

Are you pushing the button on your car remote?  Is it your last date locking the door behind you when he threw a slab of raw meat out the front door after he sobered up and saw what you looked like in the morning?

"What does?"

"The screen.  I pushed and clicked a lot of things and I have no idea what I did, but now it locks.  There is no message on the screen now, but I am telling you it locks."

"OK."  So I run her through all of the steps to turn off the 'Lock on exit' within Windows after the screen saver has come on.

"OK thank you."

40 seconds later my phone rings.

"What did you say?  Did you say go to the Control Panel? (Those words never crossed my lips.) Then what?  I see Display.  No never mind I will figure it out."

"No let me come back there.  You figuring it out is what got us here in the first place."

I go back there and within that 10 second walk she is on the phone calling Obvious to ask the same question.  WTF?

She then tells me, "Sorry I just get confused.  I don't know what is going on.  I just want it to work the way I want it to right now.  I am so impatient.  Then I have this book that I am looking through trying to find things. (Learning Windows Book.  Great.) So what do I do?  Wanna sit down?  Here you take it." (31 individual sentences.  Not one breath taken.)

"Slow down."  I walk her back through what I told her on the phone and take away the security.  Then I tell her, "That's it."

"Oh one other thing."

Here it comes.  She runs off a countless number of just stupid questions one after another.  Each one had something to do with what her 'Good Book' on her desk had been telling her.  Technical book authors should have their facts checked before they are allowed to be published!  Just sayin.  These assholes will tell the uneducated reader, 'Do this.' 'Change that.' 'Type this.' ASSUMING that the dumb bastard is smart enough to know how to put it all back the way it was!  By default there are about 12 program icons on all of the systems desktops and this damn cheater bar with 20 more.... she has nothing.  Just a desktop wallpaper.  Even worse... when I told her to 'Right mouse click on the desktop' she had NO idea what the desktop was.  She went to the Start button and says, "Where?"

Toner Boy