I have seen Elvis....

No that was Dale Earnhardt Sr. cause I don't think Elvis can drive like that!

Ya'll know how I am about the roads, and I can be a LITTLE judgemental when it comes to the way others drive.  Well this morning I have seen the light!  I watched the 2nd coming of Sr. slice and dice her way through traffic (What little there was.) like an absolute champ!  What made it so special?  She was nice about it!  I mean this girl just rolled her way through cars like Mozart wrote the piano concerto's.  It was a thing of beauty to behold for sure.  About 5 miles later I confirmed this with some douche bag bump drafting his way through the fast lane and just driving up every cars ass until they moved out of his way!

Once I got to work I watched the pilot episode of Big Band Theory and laughed my ass off in the car.  Sheldon just kills me!  The best line of that episode is when they meet Penny for the first time and invite her to come to their apartment for lunch.  Penny asks, "So what do you guys do for fun?'  Sheldon tells her, "Today we tried to masturbate for money!" (They went to the genius sperm bank and Sheldon got scared so they just walked out.) Leonard just drops his head knowing she has no idea what in the hell he is talking about.  I love it!

Happy Friday as they say!  I don't know why people are so happy about Friday's to be honest.  It just reminds me that in 2 days I need to be back in this house of emotional castration.  I mean Saturday's are not bad, but Sunday's just suck!  It is like waiting on death row knowing what tomorrow is going to bring me.  The chair!  God the chair would be SO much nicer at this point.  At least I would have an excuse for wetting myself for the switch being flipped and hundreds of thousands of volts were running through my body.  Here I just piss my pants because my brain has gone numb from dealing with this group of School House Rock failures!  I mean how did, "Conjunction junction, what's your function?" not catch on with any of them?  Hey I did not say I applied what I have learned, but I know the damn song!

Crap!  How is it only 9:36?  This is going to be a long ass day.

I have just lost all mojo to do this right now.  Check back with you later. *Hold Music*

An hour and 7 minutes later.... still nothing. *Hold Music*

OK I have left you on hold long enough.  I know it does not seem like it but it has been almost 4 hours since I first put you on hold.  I love how good music makes the time go by so much faster.  Even though I did have some great laughs from Big Bang Theory at lunch, I still have nothing.  Damn and I was all fired up this morning too!

The only thing worth noting in the news is they are trying to let yet another POS free in Tracy.  Like we don't have enough freaks out here in our neck of the woods?  If you are a resident of Tracy make sure you are heard.  Go online to tracypress.com and the number to call and voice your anger about them trying to release a convicted killer loose in our town!

If you are knocked up and trying to complete any sort of mortgage based transaction your odds of that happening just decreased 5 fold!  They are now taking that into account when approving your application because of decreased income and the possibility that you make not be physically able to return to work because of any complications that may occur.  Really???

Per the Fed if government stops giving us their money to spend we are up shit creek without a paddle.  It took the Fed to point this out?  Taking the average income and removing the cost of living, average debt carried by American's and then the number of people just on unemployment alone did not raise a red flag to you?  That is not counting the millions who have either used it all up, or are not eligible for it in the first place!  This is not like trying to unlock the mystery of the pharaohs here!  Wall Street may not see the impact right away because that is a rich boys playground... but what is left of the middle class will be washed down the drain!

Lebron is the most hated man in Ohio.  No shock there.  Replace Lebron with Tiger.  If Ohio were Tigers wife.... they would take him back.  Hell they would take him back and set him up on dates each weekend.  Never has one person destroyed the economy in one entire state like Lebron just did this month.  If he really wants to have an hour TV special he should go reality and try driving across the state in a red and black Miami Heat painted convertible in three years, playing salsa music and see if he lives!  Now that would be good TV.  Hell... want to raise money?  Make that sum-bitch Pay Per View.  I would give up $19.95 for that all day long!  I will throw in an extra Jackson if he gets ear holed by a bottle going through the financial district.  At least what's left of it.

Speaking of bad things in the Mid-West.... Blagojevich.  Now there is a real winner, huh?  Guess we will know soon enough if the squirrel is going to be stay out of his cage, or get in one!  Either way... what a used car salesman sleazeball this guy is.  Elect Toner Boy, and I will fix politics.  Hey no matter how bad I screw up I can never top half of the crap these guys have done! "No, you are going to be my humidor.  Let me just put it in there and soak for a while. OK, now the White Owl skin tip. Ahhhahhhahhh"  Thanks Bill!

How can I top Bill?  Once you have gone there... you have to move on.

Toner Boy