“Here comes Johnny with his pecker in his hand, he’s a one ball man and he’s off to the rodeo….” Sing it!!! What? You don't know the song? For shame.
I know. Two days in a row. Gasp!
No full blown thing here, just a little bit of time to kill at the end of the day. Here is a little laugh from the roads -
After I get clear of Dublin and 680 most mornings, the rest of my drive into work is usually done at speed limit plus type of speeds. For some reason out of nowhere there was, what I have to assume, a brake check safety point! Everyone in front of me was on their brakes, fast and hard. As I come to my stop I hear the woman behind me with her horn stuck on asshole mode! I look back and this bitch is reading me the riot act like I had stopped for a red light in the middle of the freeway, and that I was the only fricken car out there that stopped. I yell, “Look around you whore there are 25 cars in front of me stopped! Don’t get pissed off at me like it was my idea!” (Like she can hear me?) She follows a car that made a move to the slow lanes to get around our little safety meeting over in the fast lanes and looks at me as she drives past. I am guessing that the rage of Toner Boy was in my eyes because she got this, “Oh shit!” look on her face. I instantly jumped out of my lane and road her ass like I had paid for an hour of her time at a cheap motel room! She did her best shake ‘n bake moves to try and get me off of her ass, but she does not know what kind of penny pincher I am these days. “Bitch I paid for an hour, I am getting an hour! Deal with it.” So I am drafting her like I was at Daytona through Castro Valley and to my pleasure she takes 580 towards Oakland. Ahhh… she just made my day! Two exits up she peels off at the Sheriff’s office exit there at 150th after cutting from the #1 lane to the exit. As she looked back in fear at me as I keep driving along on the freeway, I take a sip of my Tropa-Rocka Snapple, I look over at her, and blew her a kiss. See what a nice guy I am? I hope that pissed her off even more! Bet it is the last time she ever uses that horn without careful consideration. Just sayin.
The rest of my day has been a bore and a joke, so I guess she has gotten the last laugh. Yeah… I knew I would be punished somehow, someway.
I hope I see her tomorrow morning so we can do it all over again! I had fun.
Toner Boy
1 comment:
OMG! I'm still laughing at your "I rode her ass like I had paid for an hour of her time at a cheap motel." That's some funny stuff right there!
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