Mind Freeze......

Happy Hump Day as they say. Like anyone humps on a Wednesday? You know it is the middle of the week and I am just too tired to put my wife into a tequila induced comma in the middle of the week. Do you know hard it is to soak all the fruit in the house in that Mexican bath water and make sure the kids don’t eat it by mistake? You don’t think she is going to drink that willingly do you? I mean Wednesday is the middle of the work week after all, you would have thought they would have made some sort of reference to that instead of sex. Geez. They could have went with, ‘This crap is half over and it is all downhill from here day’ or something. Oh…. I get it now. My bad. Hump Day it is.

Yes another day has passed and I am still just the bitter bastard that you have come to wither laugh at or loath. There is not a lot going on in my world of chalk eaters these days, but I will do my best to pass my time and give you judgmental folks something to read that is worth your efforts. I still see that 50 or so of you a day look in to see what in the hell I am bitching about now. Not that you are a small number of people, but let’s just say that I had hoped for bigger crowds. Then again if I had not pissed a large number of them off before starting this blog, maybe I would have a better turn out! Nevertheless we will go onward and I will try and keep my thoughts about the rest of you to myself. The key word was try!


This alter ego stuff between myself and Toner Boy is becoming a total bitch! Is it possible to be bitter, nice, proud, ashamed, nasty, caring, horny, celibate, depressed and happy all at the same time without the use of Prozac or other mood altering drugs?


Catching Flies must have gotten a new shipment of Just for Men last night delivered to his house because his mop is black as the ace of spades today. Well now that I look closer he may have had it delivered to the office today, and not his home last night. It appears that he may have done a test run on his Sacagawea area before applying that squid ink to his dome. He is walking around the office with his fly down! Hey Uncle Shartly tests things out down there, so why not? To make this a perfect moment I just need to hear him walk up to The Whisperer while she is sitting in her chair and say, “Look me in the eye.” I would piss myself.


Cracker in back to his maddening ways. There are chips and sodas popping open like Dolly Parton’s bra over there!


Trekkie is out of this rat cage today, so all of the managers are a lot more lax in this place today. I just heard The Looker tell one of his people to walk out the backdoor if they needed to leave early today so Creeper did not see them! Damn. Getting a little bold here in sequestered county life. These people have no idea what it is like in the real world, I swear.


Infidel keeps posting pictures on Facebook of her blister riddled hands she claims is from working out. None of us asked WHAT she was working out, but either way DAMN they look like they hurt! I think the lack of questions in regards to those hands has a LOT to do with the ass kicking she will deliver to anyone who pisses her off. If she does attack, per her status, it would be a good idea to throw bacon at her to get her off of your scent. Just putting it out there, and you may want to listen. It may save your ass some day. She is not a caged animal, she is in the wild.


You know I don’t have another county free holiday until Labor Day and even then I will be cooking at the restaurant?!?! Damn… better find days and ways to screw off or I am going to go nuts! Well there is the Reno trip for Hunny’s birthday coming up in a few weeks. Guess I better make the most of that trip. “Hold onto your ass Reno, Toner Boy is going to bring the house down!” Fuzz make sure you make a contact for us on the inside to bail us out at some point!


Damn that Miss Piggy quote has got some legs to it. That is a funny one though. How many of us are guilty of it though? Then again, how many of us have benefited to from it? Think about it. No….. they were looking at you all night and did not have to courage to talk to you until the bar closed. You just keep telling yourself that. I know that time with me that girl needed to slam those final 4 shots she took during last call to have the courage to come talk to me. That was completely different. Who would have ever thought a girl that smokin hot wanted me? I was sad when she told me that she was going on a peace mission for 10 years to Alaska before she ran out the door that morning. Who knew there was so much violence in Alaska? Must be that bitter cold. Or that Palin bitch.


OK I have been just staring at my monitor for the last hour drawing a complete blank. I need some food to get my brain going again. You do the same and I will be back in 2 and 2 ala Chuck Woolery! Maybe I will have an epiphany! Or an aneurism. Either way, it would be worth writing about.


Nope. Nothing. Toner Boy is all humped out I guess. I need to go and hold a meeting with a few appraisers anyway to get the information I need to do some tech writing in their training manual for next season. I know….. you are excited for me. I can feel it.


Until next we meet.


Toner Boy