Weekend baby!

No I am not making one this weekend, it is the weekend!

I want to give my love and well wishes to Nanny (My Aunt) who is having surgery today. We wish you a speedy recovery and you are in our thoughts and prayers. Crazy Legs has that beads working overtime!

Getting out of here at 12 today so this is going to be short and to the point today.  Need to find some place to squeeze in some sexual jokes though and low blows.  Hey there goes one!  Though I prefer mine on the high side.

Went out for a drink last night with The Fuzz in Livermore.  Tried to hit up the Ale House, but it was a zoo with the basketball game on.  Ended up at Sapphire.  Good to get out and stop for a beer on the way home.  Been a while.  Could not believe the number of people in downtown Livermore last night with the game and the farmer's market.  Damn.

Hunny, Thunder and Little Miss got their hair done yesterday and they all look screamin!  Little Miss is just looking ever so sassy with her new bangs.  You go girl!  Hunny got the light on top with the dark underneath look going on.... mmm, mmm, mmmm.  Lookin hot!

Hmmmm something is missing.  Ahhhh....

I have always considered myself a gentleman, so why do ladies get so mad when I offer to wipe off a place for them to sit?  The world is a crazy place, or is there something really that wrong with my face that none of you are telling me?

Need to get out of here and do some shopping and then go help out my mom at storage so she can pull things out for their garage sale tomorrow.  Used rubbers are half off.  Not because they are used.... because they are just half used.  You can roll them down I heard.  Who knew?  Thought it was a built in cock ring.  Come on... just playin.  Lighten up.  I never used a rubber.  What's good for Tiger, is good for me.

OK.  Got all of those jokes out for my darker crowd.  Forward.... March!

Busy day tomorrow.  The Fuzz and I are going to spend the morning and afternoon with our smokers doing some ribs and pork shoulder while the kids swim.  Also going to fry up some beer battered onion rings.  I am telling you... ever since I have realized I can eat things battered and not plain... yum!  Then it is off to Dublin to bowl and sell raffle tickets for the girls fundraiser. (HINT, HINT!)  After that we are stopping by at Pine Street bar for Silent but deadly's fundraiser for his daughters softball team.  That should get us in trouble!  I will make McLovin drive us!  He can sit in the car while we drink.  Fuzz bring your pen. Just sayin.

Sunday looks to be a day of recovery and rest.  I am sure I will get my cook on over at Turbo's or something of that nature so I can go see Pops and spend some time with him.



Let's see.... it's been a pretty quiet week, that is why there have not been many updates from the front lines.

Obvious is off today and so is most of the office it seems.  Thank goodness because he drives me nuts most days!

Creeper's new ultra silent printer came in yesterday.  Yeah.... sounds the same as the last one.  Dumb ass.  I am sure we will order everyone that is made until he goes, "Huh.  Guess you were right."  Way to spend our tax money wisely.  Printer shopping by sound.

*BLESS YOU INFLUENZA*

Either Munson got a new hand or ran his through the dishwasher last night because that some bitch looks good today!  All clean and shinny.  Wonder if he has a date that he set up on the Internet and does not want to freak her out?  Yeah he is right... looks better than the stump.  I would take it off and use my other hand to run it up her leg though.  If it is a true Internet date I am sure she is used to having some rubber object between her legs on a Friday night.  What?  Just sayin.  Wonder if they webcammed it first?  OK.  Just got the heebie jeebies with that.  Next.

Looker has man nipples going on today.  Did he not get my note and compliment for wearing an undershirt a couple of weeks ago?  Then again on a brotha man nipples are less noticeable.  Ednolb come and eye spy these things and give me your thoughts.

Dummy called.  Yep it's Friday.

Cracker is tell his wife to piss off I guess.  He just busted open his second Coke and it sounds like his is ripping into a candy bar or something over there.  Not chips.  Different sound... has to be a candy bar.  Yeah put that woman in her place!  Screw you and your 2 liters lady.  "I am a man.  I want a can!"

Is it 12 yet?  Damn.

Corn where are you?  Need some ink and your ear to bend!  I promise to let you put an ear of corn in my next tattoo if you come out and see me soon.  I will even cook for you while you work on the others.  After you are done with me of course.  Be gentle though... I am poor.  So don't eat me out of house and home getting your brain farts on!

I want to wish a Happy Father's Day to all of you dads out there.  And to Pops I want to thank you for being there for me and most of all for being my Dad.  You are a great guy and as soon as I change my name to Fong Yu Longn Hard and win the Lotto I promise you less work, more play!  I will change my name back after I make them announce it on the evening news.  You know me... always looking for a laugh.  You are a great father, great man and I love you.  Can I borrow $20?

*BLESS YOU INFLUENZA*

Quick news notes....

Man down in Utah.  Love it.

That sick bitch is out of our hair and Sandra's family can let this media circus pass so they can get on with their lives.  Hope to never hear her name again unless she does herself in while in prison and saves the rest of us some tax money.

Lakers fans showed their class.  Oh wait... those are kids, not fans running amok.  Back to my point of parenting.  Loud noises and pain.  Not friends.  Remember that.

It is now illegal to impersonate someone on the Internet.  Now illegal?

13 year old gets 8 years for homicide of his pregnant step mother and her baby because he wanted to be his fathers only child.  8 years?  Like he will ever be normal?  Yeah lets let him out when he is 21, able to drink and really show us the train wreck he is made of.  Nice.  Tree hugging judge.  Hope you are on the bench for his next murder case so you can explain yourself to the next victims family.

Oops.  Someone just got fired.  Need to go take them off the network and kill their access card before I leave.  Have a great weekend ya'll!

Toner Boy