Yeah it is Monday, and I don't mean Funday. I SO feel like Mr. Vernon is standing in front of me right now giving me his speech about spending the next 10 hours together. My biggest problem is the fact the I am SO John Bender getting busted and being told that he has me 'by the balls' for the next 732 weeks that I just want to cry! Maybe I can get Brian Johnson to hide my 'doobage' until he is not looking and get everyone loaded and dancing on the cubical walls around this place.
News from the road! You may not know but the old folks are on their way down to So. Cal to go on a quick 4 day cruise out of Long Beach.
Hold that thought really quick... Ice Shaker is over there eating an apple like it is a long lost girlfriends private parts, and Cracker is busting open cans of soda and ripping open bags of chips at 9:30 in the morning like they are going out of style. No doubt hungover from yesterday's GREAT day of football in Raider Nationland he is trying to get as much salt and caffeine into his system as he can!
Where was I? Oh yeah..... So on the trip is Turbo, Pops, Lu, Uncle Shartly, Rocco and Auntie and they stop off along the way for a 'pee break'. Oh course you already see this coming, but this update is brought to you by Uncle Shartly! So he proceeds to go into the restroom and he looks around and thinking that he is alone decides to 'RIP' one off! Well low and behold there goes a guy running out of the stalls and out the door thinking that Uncle Shartly may have crapped himself and that he might request a helping hand from his fellow man. After his faux pas Uncle Shartly tracks the man down inside 7-11 and apologies to the guy in case he wanted to stick around and at least wash his hands! The guy of course laughs in off uncomfortably with him and Uncle Shartly discloses that he thought that he may have shit his pants himself. Yeah, like that would be a first!
Just want to throw it out there and say that Bay Area sports fans may now clear up their calendar until the Stanley Cup Playoffs. We can wait until April to be disappointed again! Hate to be the one to break the news to you all, but the Giants are done. Tim can only win 2 games in a series and the Philly's have WAY too much team on both sides of the ball to beat them in a 7 game series. Sorry... that is all she wrote for Bay Area sports for the next 6 months. Then again the really twisted out there will think the Warriors are going to do something for us. Take it from a fellow Warriors fan... NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
Damn McNasty is a gross little booger when it comes to chewing his food! Close your mouth man! He must be learning how to gross people out, more than he already does, by hanging out with Catching Flies at lunch or something. He just walked through the office smacking his lips like he had a mouth full of cud. Go chew an apple with Ice Shaker in the lunch room or something.
OK.... when did my stomach learn to speak? Phucking thing is talking like it is running for office or something! What the hell? I just fed you, now shut up!!!
Well let me do 'the weekend that was' and get the hell out of your hair. I would get you out of mine, but..... yeah well.... you all know that punchline.
Friday night we went over to Turbo's once I got home to hang out with Rocco and the gang for a few hours to watch a little baseball.
Saturday I got ready early and ran to Costco to pick up a few things before heading out to San Jose for Thomas the Train's birthday party. Came back that night and had a big turkey dinner over at Turbo's thanks to Auntie and Rocco. Later that night the old men and me ran over to the bar to have a couple of quick drinks before calling it a night.
Sunday morning I got over to Turbo's early and make breakfast for everyone while I 'soaked my meat' for the BBQ that afternoon. We all hung out and watched some sort of ball game on the TV with 2 teams of special needs children wearing butterscotch and silver helmets were running all over the field like lost ducklings in a storm. The butterscotch helmet wearing ducklings made less mistakes in the end and were crowned line leaders for the next bus ride! Woo hoo!!! Battle of the Pointless was won!!!
As for this week.... yeah.... I got nothin! Oh wait... We have Ed's Birthday on Wednesday! But me... yeah... nothin.
May your work week pass fast, but your actions be remembered forever.
Toner Boy
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