It's all in the hips....

Sorry that is just my favorite scene from Happy Gilmore.  No really it's all in the coffee.  Funny how a shot of Irish Cream in your morning coffee will change your outlook on the day!  Then downside is when this wears off I will be either real cranky or looking for another drink!

See.... now this is how to start a day!  No friends once again put something in the microwave that she shouldn't.  I am going to guess she tried heating up her rocks in something new and did the same as she did on the day of the infamous 'wounded German Sheppard' shot from last week.  Whatever it was she put it in her file cabinet so no one would see while it was still smoldering!!!!  This time the molten rocks, and what smells like another melted plastic bowl, starts to burn the papers in the drawer!  Everyone around her is in a panic because they think the place is burning to the ground and can't figure out where the smoke smell is coming from.  Of course she is just sitting at her desk and is not telling anyone that the smell is coming from her file cabinet.  After there are 20 people surrounding her desk she looks up and says that the smell is from something that she just 'over cooked' and it was no big deal.  Creeper comes over and tells her to throw out whatever it is because the office smells like a plastic fire.  She reaches over and opens the file cabinet to a plume of smoke!  Panic has now set in and people are yelling and screaming to put it out.  They get the bowl and the papers out into the janitors closet sink outside the door to run them under water while she just sits there at her desk like nothing has happened.  So now we are all sitting here with major headaches for the chemical fumes that are in the air.  Well... Good Morning Monday!

Crap... my head hurts too much to think at this point.  Well lets cover the weekend and call this a day.

OK... quick side note.  I just walked to the front of the office and ran into Creeper who calls me over about 'Firegate' and wanted to know if I had smelled anything.  I told him no, but I told him it did not shock me because of 'Animal Planet' that occurred last week in the kitchen.  I explained to him that she put rock in the microwave, in a plastic bowl and that the bottom fell out of it.  I was kind and left out the visual wounds that I had received for the event.  He says to me, "You are kidding me? What kind of phucking idiot puts rocks in a microwave in the first place, let alone in a plastic bowl?"  We start laughing and then he says, "What is even worse is she did it again today!  What a stupid shit."  I about fell over because he says this to me right out in the middle of the office.  Creeper, you have earned a pass in my book.

This is turning out to be a full blown 'Car 54' moment!  People are being taken into offices for interrogations.  I have been asked to give a recap of my ghastly scene last week in the kitchen.  I really gotta give someone the 'full' story on that one!  No.  That will result in a trip to HR.  Hey she flashed me!  Send her!  These people over react to everything because with people this stupid running and you let them work a microwave unattended, crap like this is going to happen!!!

OK... back to the weekend that was.... and it was not much!

Friday night I stopped off in Castro Valley and had a beer or three with Hack at Krayon's and watched most of the Playoff game while traffic died down.  Had some good laughs and solved 2 of life's mysteries.  No I am not going to tell you how they were solved, but let's just say on one of them we did confirmed that Aunt Jemima was NOT a real person, and just a well played marketing scheme.  Just sayin.  So once I got home we went over to visit once Pops and the crew made it back into town for a little bit and took a walk over to Albert's for a beer and some laughs in the Man Cave.

Saturday was a full on day of work around the house getting things ready for this weekends Halloween party on Sunday.  McLovin came over and gave us a hand getting things cleaned up and some of the decorations in place.  Once I ran out of gas we got cleaned up and ran over to Turbo's to make dinner for everyone and watched the Giants punch their ticket to the World Series in a great game!  Uncle Shartly and Lu were over, and Lu was showing us her best 'step, ball, chain'!  As for the Giants, I hope it ends better for them this time around because I don't want to hear Johnny Cock Nozzle, Game Time, Ass Clown, Fuzz, and all my other friends who are die hard Giants fans whine like they did back in '02!  No I really like their chances with this team and they have been a lot of fun to watch this year that is for sure.

Sunday I got up early and went to the store before the rest of the house was awake and bought stuff to make breakfast and dinner with before going out and finishing my work around the house.  Turbo and McLovin came by and gave us a hand during the day, and Rocco came to visit for the first half of the Raiders game.  Once the game was over I threw dinner in the oven and got cleaned up because after we ate we're going over to visit Turbo and the gang for a few hours and a few drinks while we watched the Sunday night game.  Rocco was in rare form!

As for around this place since Chernobyl all is quiet.  Penis did one of his half in, half out tricks today.  The downside for me is right now he is IN.  Man... I am with you ladies... I like it more when Penis is OUT!  I mean the guy just won't stop pounding on my nerves.

OK... enough bad puns and ongoing coverage of this train wreck I call life.  Yeah I am pulling up my tent stakes and closing camp until there is something more interesting to report from this place.  I think that even though this is a great way to pass the time, I need to find something else to entertain myself during the day.  Maybe I will follow in Smut Queen's footsteps and start writing porn?  Na.... bad writing about my office is one thing, but bad writing about fantasy sex is another.  That would just show off all of my short comings.

So for McNasty (who just walked through and burped.) and the rest of the gang, I bid you adieu until there are news worthy headlines from here at Adventureland.  This is TonerBoy signing off.

Toner Boy

PS - Just wanted to say WHOEVER keeps calling the person in my office with the 'Peanut Butter Jelly Time' ring tone please stop.  I will say I do giggle every time the phone rings and I hear that song in a place like this, but.....  IF THE PERSON DOES NOT ANSWER THE PHONE THE FIRST 3 TIMES THAT YOU CALL BACK, TO BACK, TO BACK, ODDS ARE THEY ARE NOT NEAR THEIR PHONE TO ANSWER IT JERK WEED!