Ice Shaker is over there eating what sounds like popcorn by the handful. I mean he is just shoveling it in. He is doing this with with plugged sinuses. Have you ever try eating with plugged sinuses? Don't you normally ease food in small quantities because you know you need to pretty much do all of your breathing through the same hole in your face? I can't figure out what is worse... the ice, the apples, or him chewing and choking on popcorn while making that stuffy, pluggy sound as he tries to take in air and chew all at once! Hope he chokes.
I can feel my ears bleeding already. They have moved people around in the office and now Funk and Wagnalls to Cracker's cube! So I am going from hearing *CRACK* and *RIP* all day, to 'Blah, blah, blah Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, blah, blah.' Geee.... Thanks a lot Trekkie! But everyone rest easy... Cracker is still within ear shot! As a matter of fact (off in the distance) I think I hear a bag of chips giving their life so he can grow even fatter. Pig. (As I sit on my ass and eat my trail mix.)
The one thing that I can say that may have worked out good for me is that Funk and Wangnalls is now reporting to The Looker, and these two have been going at it all day long! There should be some good blog material, or police blotter news coming from these two working together at some point in the near future.
Speaking of Looker. He is in his finest fall fashion as Willy Wonka today as he sports a breathtaking combination of royal purple and citrus orange garb for us to mystically gaze upon. Looker... the Umpa Lumpa's would like to thank you for keeping hope alive for the factory to make its big come back, but they said next time you better keep Augustus Gloop's fat ass the hell out of there! Looker's reply - 'He ain't phuckin up my chocolate again... shiiiiit!'
I can't top that last one today, so with that I am Audi 5000.
Toner Boy
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