I said I was going to be nice, but she brings this on herself!
Phone call -
Dummy ~ "I was out yesterday and someone touched my computer! Everything on my desk has been moved and when I went to log in there was a name there other than mine! Are they watching me?"
Me ~ "It was only me installing updates, but I was not at your desk, I installed them from here at my desk."
Dummy ~ "Oh. OK. Yeah, maybe nothing on my desk was touched. So how do I log in? There is another name where mine is supposed to be."
Me ~ "Just type yours in."
Dummy ~ "What about the password? Do I just use mine?"
Me ~ "Sure. Just try yours and lets see if that works!" (Being a TOTAL smart ass when saying it!)
Dummy ~ "Waiting... waiting... Wow! That worked. That was weird."
Me ~ "Very."
Dummy ~ "So are they watching me?"
Me ~ "You did not hear it from me... but I would keep an eye out!"
Dummy ~ "I thought so! OK, thanks."
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Another call from someone in office -
Person ~ "Yeah my light went out."
Me ~ "On your computer? Really? Which one? One of the monitor lights or something?"
Person ~ "No. The lamp on my desk."
Me ~ "Ahhhh ---- OK. I work on computers and the occasional printer, not lights. You need to call GSA or just replace it yourself."
Person ~ "But it is my computer lamp. Where would I get a bulb at?"
Me ~ "Any store."
Person ~ "Oh, OK. Once I get it you will be able to help me replace it."
Me ~ "No."
Person ~ "Why? This is my computer lamp."
Me ~ "Just because you use this lamp for your computer it has nothing to do with me. Buy and replace your bulb yourself."
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This all before 10 AM! WTF people?
DOUBLE CRASH!!!! This is SO cool! Within a 2 minute window we had our dinosaur mainframe server crash (putting a screeching halt to everyone in the office!), and a real crash of a moron standing on the arms of a chair in the lunchroom trying to hang up decorations for Halloween! His foot slipped off of the arm of the chair, he then fell and bounced off a table and then onto the floor... per reports from eyewitnesses. It is like mass chaos here now. Now THIS is entertainment!!!!
OK... Penis just walked by and blew ass! Not a gentle little squeal either. It sounded like he was stomping on ducks with each step!!!! Even Ice Shaker stood up and looked over his cube at me after he went past like 'WTF was that'!!! What kind of Third World place is this????
I swear this place is like a monkey phucking a football. There is a group for this, a group for that, 17 managers that have to report to one another before a decision can be made on should the coffee pot be turned on in the morning. No one is allowed to think for themselves in this damn place. This server issue have been a complete joke to the point that the one group that supports the applications had no clue that the group that runs the servers were having a problem. They are not allowed to pick up the phone and ask the simple question of 'why' or 'how long until it is fixed' because their manager needed to do it for them. Dude.... just fix the problem and let us know when it will be done so people can get back to work! If I had ever done anything like that when I was on the network side clients would have pitched a complete bitch. The bottom line to a client... time is money. Every second that server is down is money I am spending and not making anything in return. When I did work for Google the manager was in my ear reminding me every couple of minutes that he was losing close to $1 million dollars of revenue every hour! (Yeah... it was that long ago! I am sure that number is MUCH larger now, or even by the minute!)
OK... who pulled the e-brake on my day? Damn I was humming along and the clock was my friend, then BAM we are back to a snails pace. I think Hunny is putting pins in her voodoo doll of me for Albert and me talking about washing our car on Facebook today and making it sound like something completely different. It is so funny how easy it is to read one thing, and make it sound like something completely different in your mind! (By the way.... I really like it dirty! Don't believe what you read.) Time to go feed the animals here at the zoo and see if anything funny turns up.
Until we meat again!
Toner Boy
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