... to piss people off. I don't try to, but it just happens. I go for the 'charming, make you laugh' kind of guy and I get... 'what an asshole!' Oh well, I doubt anyone in Napa will know the difference to tell you the truth.
Well we are a day closer to the weekend, so Happy Tuesday to all of you! We will rename this to 'Lotto Winning Tuesday' since tonight all 6 numbers are going to come up. I did not say 'MY' numbers are going to come up, but there will be 6 numbers regardless when they are done. If things do not work out as planned, I think once I am in Napa I will change that name to 'Touch Yourself Tuesday' so it is more fitting to my new lifestyle.
It is 8:34 in the morning and Cracker has already come over and talked Raiders football with me. Why? What did I do to him to promote such actions? I mean do I really want to relive the fact that my team blows more than my place of work? Just go away and get yourself another can of Coke. *CRACK* Ahhhh... there it is! 8:36 and all is well in his world.
Corn posted more great pictures this week, and I really have to get them posted on the Fan Page on Facebook for all of you to see. I keep meaning to do it, but that damn task of sleeping keeps getting in the way after dinner each night. Unreal work Corn. No worries I will get those pictures up on the Fan Page soon!
Halloween is around the corner and it would not be me unless I did it up right and had my house looking like a haunted house. The problem is nothing has made it out of the boxes this year! What is even worse is we are having an all day cook out on Halloween with people coming over and I do not have a single decoration up outside! Sad... I have boxes and boxes of animated ghouls and creatures and they are doing nothing besides scaring the shit out of the insides of some boxes at this point in time! OK... starting tonight... it gets done, and pictures will follow for proof.
I am torn on getting a new phone when my contract comes to an end in a couple of months. Android phones have come a LONG way since I got mine, but they are still way behind when it comes to apps compared to Apple. Plus I watch McLovin walking around with his Droid and his iPod all the time and I think having 2 devices maybe to much for a person like me with limited brain power to handle. Yeah I think it is going to be Verizon's 32G iPod's for me and the misses this time around when they start selling them next year. Sorry Fuzz... you are going to Android and we are going to Apple. What is wrong with that picture??? AHAHAH
OK.... I am no longer talking to Father of our Country until he removes his profile picture of him wearing Niners gear because he lost a bet! Dude man up and wear like Dodgers or Phillies gear if you want to self inflict pain from a bet... but Niners gear? Never! Well unless you were getting some sort of freaky lovin or something if you won... then that is another story and I will let it slide. Just make sure you get yourself Bob Barker'ed (Help control the population and have your pet 'DAWG' spade or neutered...) or learn where they sell rubbers first Mr. Potent! It is getting harder and harder to keep track of your clan.
Damn this day hit the skids. Looked to be rolling along good and now the last 5 minutes has lasted an hour.
Maybe deep down I am missing Trekkie not being here today?
Or maybe it is because Ice Shaker forgot to bring his water bottle and a bushel of apples to keep me entertained?
Or the fact that I have not had Penis all up in my grill bugging me today?
Maybe I will feel better if I go over and give Munson a hand? I know... I need to back off and give the guy a fair shake.
What if I go over and see Catching Flies and chew the fat to see if that makes me feel any better?
Anyway. (Enough said there.)
OK... On to actual events here at Bellevue and enough funny puns on their short comings or idiosyncrasies.
Let me see if I can get this story out and give it the kind of justice that it deserves.
Have you even seen how people when they rob a bank wear nylons over their faces to sort of smoosh them all up so when they get caught people won't be able to spot them in a lineup?
So I go into the lunchroom to heat up my food before heading off to the car for another fun filled hour of movies I have now seen 100 times each. As I walk in No Friends is standing in there with a melted plastic bowl in her hand and rocks all over the ground. Yes, rocks. Now try and stay with me on this one. She put rocks in the microwave for 10 minutes to heat them up for a therapy pack for her back. Again... rocks, 10 minutes and plastic bowl. Can you see where her problem started?
This is also where my problem starts unfortunately! *GULP* She proceeds to clean up her mess and picks up all the little rocks on the floor... in a skirt.... wearing nylons... and I guess bad hips that don't allow her to apply inward pressure! Yeah.... now you see where this is going! There it was.... the money shot! I looked down to see what appears to be a German Sheppard, wrapped in nylon, with a hatchet wound in its fur. Oh dear lord! All I wanted to see what how many rocks there was left to pick up and see if she needed a hand. My bad!
All I can say is I will never look at German Sheppard's, or hatchet wounds in the same light again. And... ladies.... please.... I now understand the reason that crotchless nylons were created beyond easy access. (OK, and besides being sexy as hell!) Was has transpired ALMOST made me take into question the biggest admiration that men have for your bodies ladies. (Yeah I said it... the guys sucking up will still tell you it is your brains. Blah, blah, blah.) You girls think a penis looks funny as hell when it is all wrapped up in a raincoat? I am not going to go into any more detail than I already have, but I will just say.... not even close! There is a big difference from a guy in a straight jacket, to a bug hitting a windshield!
No matter what I did during my lunch.... it was there. The image burned into my mind like a tragic accident involving a school bus, a fifth of Jack, and a pack of Webelos in a crosswalk on a rainy day.
OK... I don't think I can go on after this. "Man down! I repeat, man down!!!"
Toner Boy
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