Yeah, I am done. Don't get me wrong... I had a ton of laughs over the 'washing your car', 'the fit of your shoes', 'hitting a golf ball' and 'getting a tattoo' lines that were made to sound dirty to many of your filthy minds this week on Facebook. But just overall I am done. Done with this drive, done with these people, done with the lack of internal drive around me, done, done, done.
I am so done that I think I am just about done with this blog as well. For the little bit of therapy that it gives me when I am decompressing and letting some of this out... in the long run I am still just a dip shit sitting here talking to myself and wasting as much time as I can at work because there is nothing here to challenge me.
Hello!?!?! Opportunity? Are you out there??? I have been ringing your phucking doorbell for 3 years now!!!! Answer the damn thing already!
Don't mind me today. Really. I am just overly frustrated and burned out. I don't know why. After all Napa is only 2 months, 16 days, 11 hours, and 28 minutes away! Then it is off to a life of finger painting, endless Jell-O lunches, and Lane shower impersonations 4 times a day until I go blind! Yay me.
Yeah... it's confirmed... the cheese has officially slipped off my cracker. In case you had any doubts prior to this blog today. I doubt many of you will question that statement.
While I am still mentally capable I would like to send out some Happy Birthday wishes. It was my nephew Thomas the Train's birthday on Thursday and Chet's birthday today! Coming up in the next few weeks we have birthdays for Ed, George and Pops as well. Boy.. a lot of peoples parents had sex around New Year's and Valentine's Day I see! Must be those cold winter months and no cable TV in the bedrooms. The fact that my wife wears 14 layers of impenetrable jammies and we have a big ass TV at the foot of our bed explains a lot for my track record during those winter months! And summer.... well, and spring.... hmmmm.... fall is not so good either now that I think about it.
Moving on.....
Rocco is back in town so he and the old folks can go on their weekday cruise out of So Cal next week. But while he is here we are going to cook it up right on Sunday for the Raiders-Niners game. Should be a nice battle of two crap teams looking for bragging rights of football supremacy in the Bay Area. Yeah... more like Slopfest 2010!
OK... I just had a person call me telling me that their password does not work and that I 'NEED' to come over and fix it for them 'RIGHT NOW'. Oh did she pick the wrong day for this. OK... first of all anyone who has known me for more than 6 seconds will tell you that giving me orders and telling me that I 'HAVE' to do something is begging for the complete opposite to happen. Second of all computers are nothing more than dumb machines waiting to be told what they need to do. Yes, computers are GREAT at taking orders, not me. Computers don't make shit us as they go... they only do what they are told and odds are... you told it something that it didn't want to hear bitch! So... I walk down the street to the deli and get a Vitaminwater I come back into the office and make sure and talk to every person I can along the way to this woman's desk just to piss her off. Needless to say she was hotter than hell by the time I got there. Good!
So I ask her what she is doing and tell her to show me so I can see it with my own two eyes. She says (for example) that her password is 'sugar' and I tell her to go ahead and type it in so I can see the error she is getting. She let's out a *huff* then I watch her type... s-u-g-e-r and the error comes up 'Invalid Password' and she says 'See! Now fix it!'. Oh with pleasure. I walk right over and type in the password and it logs right in without a problem. She looks at me like I am a complete asshole and asks what I did to make it work. I looked right at her and told her the truth... In order for a password to work, you have to spell it right. Computers can not assume what you meant to spell, so in the future make sure you know how to spell the password you choose before you try and use it. Sugar is spelled s-u-g-a-r.... not s-u-g-e-r. You can't change how you spell something on a whim and think the computer will just figure it out. I think I made a new friend.
All I have to say.... Google Translate... BEST THING EVER!!!! I can now piss people off in all kinds of different languages!!! Huh Hunny??? Paso atrás. Me comí un burrito de frijoles y un camión intestino.
I sent her to the Mexican Market in town to get the stuff to make salsa for Thomas the Train's birthday party tomorrow. I told her if she has any problems finding anything to find a guy who works there and tell him - me llevan en la espalda y me muestran su pimienta! Once he helps you to tell him - Veo que tienes cebollas grandes también! If he tires to get fresh with you for some strange reason just tell him - mi gato está sucio. If that does not work try - tengo gas y lo voy a utilizar. As your last resort before you call 911 - oops. no estornudar con la influenza. peces mierda! peces mierda!
Yeah... I am going to hell. I know.
OK.... one more mind bender for CV Stroll Queen on my way out.... I like rubbing flavored oil on the breasts and thighs before pinning its legs back and stuffing it.
Toner Boy...... OUT!
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