I got nothing.
So in lieu of my tidbits on knowledge here are a few funny thoughts.
_________
I am pissed that I have always eaten women plain when I heard I could get them battered.
If eyes are the window to your soul, then the zipper is the window to your underwear.
Who would ever want to take a shit?
Isn't a blog just a place for a person to be a documented liar?
To those people who go onto the field during firework night at the ballgame. - Do you watch what the players do to the field everyday when they are out there before you go lay on the grass? No thank you.
Over 50% of all marriages end in divorce, but yet everyone does it time and time again. If you were told you would have the same odds your parachute would open when skydiving would you still do it? I thought not. Guess you better make sure you have the right parachute in your life.
When we were kids weren't we still eating paste and still learning multiplication in the 4th grade? Why is it that my 6 year old in the 1st grade has never eaten paste, and knows all of her multiplication facts already? Aren't they allowed to be kids anymore?
They say America is safer today then it was 30 years ago. If you agree with that statement raise your hand. No? OK... Maybe it is safer because most parents won't let their kids out of their sight in this day and age for fear of what may happen to them. Ever consider that?
How is it that you can eat corn and the very next time you shit it will be there looking unchewed, but gum which has been chewed for hours won't come out for 7 years?
If more parents were actual parents and not friends to their kids, do you think that we would have half of the problems with crime that we do today? Kids respond to two things. Loud noises and pain. Be a parent, not a friend. They will respect you, and those around them a lot more as they grow.
If they say the worse thing you can do in your life is live with regret, why do so many people ignore that fact and live their entire lives that way?
Isn't a booger just dried nose sweat?
People make fun of Mayberry, I am jealous of it.
Why is it that I man could be bleeding from his eyes, have 3 broken ribs and be suffering from migraine, but if his wife offers him sex he will do a back handspring out of his clothes to do what she pleases in a room full of loud music and flashing lights no matter how bad it hurts. Yet if she had someone hang up on her during the day at work from a dialing a wrong number, or got a paper cut she is closed for business? Guess it is true... there is no pleasing women.
If you need me to type this in Spanish, Press 2.
If a person pleads not guilty, and is found to be guilty, shouldn't there be an additional penalty for that? I know if I would lie to my parents growing up there was a penalty. So why is it OK in our court of law?
If the world is one of instant gratification, doesn't it make it one of instant pain and suffering as well?
It is a fact that dogs lick their ass. So why do so many people let them lick their face?
If humor is the best medicine, then why are so many people afraid to laugh?
If news of heinous crimes were never reported, would others ever get the idea to do the same thing?
So do you get pissed at friends that don't talk to you for a long time, or do you miss them more?
And finally...
Smile. It's infectious. Unless your Crystal Bowersox. That appears to be an infection.
Thank you... I will be here all week.
Toner Boy
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