Greetings earthlings.
I am telling you this week can not end soon enough for me. Then again neither can the need for me to drive to Oakland 5 days a week. It will be 11 years on Saturday since my beautiful wife and I got married, and coming up on 19 years since we first met. No matter how much I talk shit to her because that is just the smart ass that I am, it seems like yesterday that we first talked and I have never loved her more than I do today. Thank you for the ride. Hmmm... let's change that to journey. My little baby is going to be 7 this Sunday and I could not be more proud of that little stubborn bitch!
On to why I, I mean WE, are here....
Ever notice when you are bored out of your skull from a lack of challenges or activity how you tend to notice or think about the oddest crap? Guess that can explain 50% of the posts on this blog. The other 50% is just out of pure frustration with my surroundings! I mean I notice most things that are going on around me, for the most part, but I am sure as hell my wife will disagree. My only suggestion to her is to show me your boobs more often and I might stop staring at them while you are talking to me. Anywhooo.... Just some tidbits and nuggets today for those of you who are following this omnidirectional circle jerk.
I have tried putting some of this stuff in My Soap Box and Random Rants, but none of you make your way into those sections to read them so I am just going to blast way here. Sorry if this rolls over to something that you feel is an attack on you, which it is not let's be clear, but I got set off this morning and it is time to let it all hang out! Like I said this is about NO ONE, when I get to some of those points you may feel like are hitting close to home, but when you hear and see enough of the same crap over and over again... odds are someone out there is going to go, "He is talking about me!" Nope... let's just say that these are epidemics in today's society and even though everyone knows they are going on, no one wants to talk about it. I have no fear, after all my wife stopped reading this this months ago because she already knew I was full of shit! But shocking as it is ladies.... guys do talk. No not that extreme detail talks that you have about us, but more along the lines of, "Does your wife do this to?" so let's just say that some of these are just things I have picked up over the years.
OK... batter up! Let's start out with what set me off. Note to people in a parking structure. I know when you start driving in one of these things you have flashbacks to your Hot Wheels sets when you were a kid, BUT that does not mean that it is OK to drive through them at 40 mph when people are getting in and out of their cars, walking to the stairs and needing to cross the lane, all while you have 6 feet of visibility as you squeal your tires and catching air on those POINTLESS speed bumps the entire way up! I had to jump to avoid a woman's headlight being driven half way up my ass this morning for just such a reason! To remind her there are people in the structure I went "Smut Queen" on her and told her to everything but have a nice day! She is the winner of my first ever, I know you hate this ladies and I will say sorry from right now, Cunt Monkey Award! Cheers to her.
I don't care to see your nipples. Men that is. Guys, when you wear a dress shirt please do the world a favor and put on an undershirt! It does not matter what color your shirt is, most dress shirts are thin enough to see through. Especially those cheap fuckers that most of you wear! Good silk dress shirts do not have this problem, but most of you cheap bastards are not putting out the kind of money to buy them. So do us all a favor and add $10 to your outfit and put an undershirt in the mix. I don't care to see your nipples, chest hair, tattoos, armpit hair or back hair! I know... all of this coming from a lower class P.O.S., but hey... I used to be one of you and it just looks tacky as hell. Girls.... forget any of these statements, I do enjoy seeing yours!
Heavy people should not wear textured clothing. I am sorry, but if you are big please do those around you a favor and do not wear clothing that will make noise when you walk around your office. This is annoying as hell to those who work around you! All I can sit here and think about is the Seinfeld episode where George is on an interview wearing a new suite that "Swooshed" when he walked! Come on people... I know you can hear it! Clothes are made to be seen, not heard.
People are so fucking lazy it is not funny. It kills me to watch these lazy bastards walk up to the restrooms and push the handicap buttons so the door will open for them. What did they do 5 months ago before the buttons were installed? These are the same people who walk an 1/8 of a mile to the parking garage and instead of walking up one flight of stairs to their car they will wait 5 mins for an elevator to carry their ass. You know if you kept walking maybe your pants would not sound like a sanding block on wood. I bet they walk their ass to McDonald's everyday and super size the fuck out of their meal though!
The morning blitz! I can only laugh each morning as I come into work and see the mad dash of early morning coffee drinkers as they all sprint to the bathroom for their morning constitutional. In the heavily public use first floor bathrooms nonetheless! Gross. Probably do not have the cheek strength to wait for the fat-o-vator to take them to the upper floors where the clean bathrooms are. I could not imagine sitting with dirty ass all day. You can only wipe so good and 12 hours of funk is gross! I threw up in my mouth a little when I thought about what their desk chair is going through.
Really? I walk in this morning to hear Cracker on the phone fighting with his wife once again. Now this is nothing new but in my pissy mood it made me think about relationships and the choices that people make in them. (Hang on!) He gets off the phone and is talking to Munson over his cube and just about called his wife every name under the sun. Talking about, "How fucking annoying she is." and "He does not know why he puts up with her and her crap." Dude, really? Ahhh... maybe because you said, "I do." to her at some point in time? I don't know... call me silly but if you have thoughts or comments about your spouse in that manner don't you think you should have beat the bushes a wee bit more before making that kind of commitment to her? Last time I checked a marriage is a two way commitment, not a, "Take them off the market for now until something better turns up!" If you are only window shopping people, leave it at that. I know I am one to talk since I have been divorced but I was young as hell and thought that I was doing the right thing. After all I was 17 and knew it all, right? I can say this much... I will defend my wife to the nth degree. I may not agree with what she says or her actions, but I would NEVER throw her under the bus like I just heard him do. Now my thoughts to Cracker... If she is annoying then why did you marry her in the first place? If you say pussy then you are stupid because if you turn any girl over and look.... they all have one! Put up with her crap... If it was the right relationship in the first place, would there even be crap to put up with? I will give Cracker some credit on this one... his wife did call back like 10 times in the 5 minutes that followed this conversation and each time he told her that they would talk about it later when he was not at work. Way to listen!
So I sit down to read my morning news feeds and come across the following news summaries -
- 17 years ago a man was convicted of a triple murder and prior to his trial he had requested that he defend himself at his trial. The requests were made 5 weeks before the set trial date and the judge denied his request on the grounds that he was trying to delay the trial itself since there was no way he could prepare for such a case in that amount of time. The man was assigned a new lawyer, convicted by a jury on all three accounts and given the death sentence. He has appealed the trial on the basis of not being allowed to defend himself in court and has had the entire case voided. He is getting a new trial.... with a DIFFERENT lawyer! I thought the grounds for the new trial were based on the fact that you did not get to defend yourself? Our justice system is a complete joke! I am with Texas on this. If you commit a heinous crime with more than 3 credible eye witnesses, admission of guilt or overwhelming physical evidence you are sentenced to death and THEY FOLLOW THROUGH ON IT! Not 15, 20 or 30 years down the road. It is more like, "We will see you in a few months buddy so go tend to any personal affairs that you need to, and pray to your maker!" The bottom he is not taking into question the evidence, a witness or anything else so why in the hell is he getting a new trial with a new lawyer? You were convicted of the crimes and you don't want to own up to it, so use taxpayers need to foot the bill on a new trial? You know odds are that this asshole will get off on some technicality, right? These murders were almost 30 years ago and I am sure witnesses have passed on during that time, files have been lost, people who heard the case have been accused of things after the fact that are now going to be held against them... whatever! This just pisses me off because since Alice has been killed and I have stayed in constant communication with the DA and it is sad to see how hard it is to put away bad guys. I mean they are not going to seek the death penalty on the dirt bag who killed him because they do not feel they will get the jury that they need here in Alameda to pull the trigger on it. The person who killed him is Asian and they said being a very Asian populated area they would most likely end up with Asian jurors who would not want to sentence him to death. Really? They have taped phone conversations of him admitting to murder is not enough to sentence a person to death? How in the hell is he even allowed to enter a not guilty plea? He fucking admitted it! Where is the confusion? The ball less justice system. What a joke. What ever happened to the approach of "Get a rope!" when you know someone was guilty? Oh yeah innocent until proven guilty. And his own words... not good enough. Up yours.
- Hidden video at a dairy farm shows workers beating cows with crowbars, stabbing them with pitchforks and punching them. There are 12 counts of this crime he is being accused of. One of them showed him using metal wire to tie a calf head to a pole on the ground while he beat it with another pole until it bled. This 25 year old genius was fired and can be fined up to $750 per count and 90 days for each. Is that really enough? Really? I think chemical castration to make sure he has no offspring would make a LOT more sense.
- For those that read my Rant yesterday... at 10 the market was full of nothing but positive financial news. Housing start ups were better than expected, and factory orders have risen. How are things so different in 24 hours? Maybe the fact that it is spring time and this is the time of the year that builders, build? Duh! You still have to get people to buy them and banks to be able to lend money. Little curve ball for you in 6 months! An hour later it says that investors were bargain hunting after yesterdays sell off. So shit that people considered crap yesterday is a bargain today? The day ends with the Euro sinking in value and the market falls and gives back all of its gains within 30 minutes before the final bell. Ahhh... last time I checked the Euro was crap yesterday... why the big shock? Did Greece find $40 trillion under a mattress that it forgot about in the morning only to have it be monopoly money or something? Until the regulate the markets better and kill off these power day traders it is nothing more than a get rich quick scheme that affects all of us. It is no longer a long term investment under today's mindset. (That was written yesterday. I know... it has taken 2 days to do this shit to this point!) Just for a laughing note, they say the economic rebound slowed last quarter. After all that good news yesterday? Stocks said the hell with it this morning and took off anyway, on get this, China having confidence in Europe! WTF? Let's be honest.... financial advisors are no better than weathermen! They have no idea what it is they are really doing. They are just looking for their next dollar and they will lie, cheat and steal to get people into the market with their money, so they can make money off of it. Lemmings!
- The Feds busted up a social networking site based one child porn. Does any more need to be said? I am sure they will get a $10 fine when they deserve to be stoned in the nearest town square. Sick fucks. Don't break that shit up. Leave it up, hunt them down and gut them like fish! There were 1,000 members on this site and they were exchanging millions of image files. These people have no place in this world and an example should be made of people like this.
It is your own damn fault. After reading all of this insperation for living in the news I stepped out to use the place of laughter here at work, the restroom. No giggles to be found in there today besides me, but on my way across the hall I had to stop and watch a child lead his parent by the nose. This little shit was standing at the little coffee and snack place here in the building and was just grabbing
SON OF A BITCH! Something happened to blogger and I lost about, ooohhh... 3 hours of typing that followed this when I tried to post. It is supposed to auto save like every few seconds and it told me that is what it was doing. I go back to bring to grab the page and repost it and this is what I got. I give up. Done.
Toner Boy
Get your Irish supernatural porno thriller today!!!!!
Click HERE to buy Smut Queen's book!
I understand that it really is a great book and she is a great person who everyone should support! Go out, buy it, read it and look forward to the other books in her series. Help spread the word and post the link to her book on your Facebook page!
As far as something funny from me.... my life. Isn't that funny enough when you stop and think about it?
No?
Well then all I have is a quote - "Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge." ~ Scott Adams
Now piss off.
Toner Boy
Yeah... it's Monday again.
Overall the weekend was not too bad. It would get a 6 out of 10 on my fun shit meter.
Friday night after work we went to The SC book party for Smut Queen at their place. The SC was in the house, except Ed, Sleeper Cell and Cheese. Damn Livermore people! It was a low key event for the most part as we talked, snacked and drank in celebration of the release of her book this week. Sometime in the night, after another Sharks loss, The Fuzz called me and Chet into the other room where we found a pile of Nerf guns and ammo! This could only mean one thing.... WAR! I tell you what, this is why The SC is so exclusive and new members are going to have to pay monthly dues! We acted like jackass kids for the next 30 mins just running around and shooting anyone we could. Until we noticed that all of the ammo was missing. Well Hunny figured that if she could not get her hands on a gun to shoot people, then she was going to grab all of the ammo and put it down her top. Nice thought... wrong idea! The Fuzz and Chet grab her and bring her into the other room where I relieve her of her hoarded treasure! At this point we were all laughing so hard that the battle was over due to exhaustion! Never has so much fun been had for so damn cheap! Thanks for bringing out the "Fun Guns" Hun.. ahh, I mean The Fuzz!!!
A soon to happen night of "Stupid Adult Fun" will be held in one of the Tracy parks! Ed you guys better make it for that! We will rely on The Fuzz to keep us out of jail, or at least in our own collective cell once we are in the slammer!
On Saturday I got up and did a few things around the house in the morning before going and getting a much needed oil change in the car. I decided to rattle Game Time's cage to see if he was up for killing the time it was going to take for the service by going down a Rusty's for a few drinks. Low and behold he had to take his mom's car down to get its oil changed for her as well, so we went to watch the A's and Giant's game, NASCAR race, Laker's game and some sci-fi show with a bunch of hot looking girls on it! Needless to say they were slower than hell getting our oil changed, but with a well mixed Jack and Coke in your hand... you really don't give a crap! It was nice to just hang out with Game Time and chew the fat a little bit and talk about putting a few more things in our appointment books then we have in the past year over a few drinks. It got to late to cook so I went and grabbed some take and bakes and headed home. Thunder had a friend sleep over that night and the girls had fun playing all night long while I slept!
Sunday I got up and made the girls waffles and finished cleaning up a few things around the house. Went and met Pop's to run an errand before going over to their house to cook. Made some broccoli potato and cheddar soup, some Parmesan potato cakes and a couple of pork loins. Nothing overly tough, but it all came out very good and we ended up with leftovers for days as usual. Went home stuffed to the gills and started to watch Celebrity Apprentice through my eye lids before leaving Hunny at 9:45 to go to bed. Dude... I am getting old! My ass could not even stay up until 10. That is sad.
On the way into to work this morning I did at least have the pleasure of seeing why traffic sucked ass! No more then 1/2 mile before me a bike and a BUNCH of cars tried to get better acquainted. Oops. When I drove by the guy was laying on the shoulder with everyone out of their cars and as I looked down at him his foot was pointing in the wrong direction! So cool. That will teach the old fart that splitting lanes in heavy traffic on a rice rocket is not the best of choices he could have made for getting to work no matter who was at fault. These guys go through there just assuming that all of the drivers are looking out for them and see them coming up at 30 miles an hour faster then they are going. Shit is going to happen.... sorry.
Put in for my day off this Friday so we can take Little Miss out for her birthday weekend. She is going to be 17.... no wait.... 7 on Sunday. It just seems like 17 talking to little miss know it all! Just the fam is going to take her out for lunch and a show on Friday so it will be a nice her day! We decided to wait on our next trip to Disneyland for a few more weeks so we could see the new water show and wait for some of the rides that are currently being worked on to open back up. Sort of pissed because once again I am missing the Food and Wine Fest going on down there this year, but the trips to Disney are for the kids. Right? Saturday Big Willy Style is graduating from high school and we are going to attend that and his party after. Sort of odd because it is our 11 year anniversary on Saturday as well, but we will make the most of it. Then again being there with Zebra and Game Time making the most of it is never a doubt! Hell maybe I will pour Hunny some more tequila for some liquid courage later that night? Oh wait.... house guests that night as well. Well... there is always the 12 year, right? What's my hurry? Sunday we are going to have a little get together with cake for Little Miss over at Turbo's, and I believe that Monday is a day of rest.
Wow that is a lot of shit with not a laugh in sight. Guess it is time I stop writing this thing and find another way to stay off the ledge because I am boring myself with this.
Hey maybe I should check my lotto tickets and this is all just fo....... nope.... this is still my place of work.
Well if anything worth typing comes up this week you will hear from me again.... if not.... not.
Toner Boy
OK... and strike me down right now Lord if I am even fudging this one bit!!!!
No Friends just walked by me as I was going to lunch (She must have been out this morning because there is no way in hell I would have missed this all day!) wearing.... get this... tight black and white striped pants with this sort of green floral pattern in parts of the white sections, a maroon leather Members Only style jacket, a fuchsia pink top, that black and white animal print neck-er-chief that she always wears, (It has a pink border so I can see where she was trying to go here.) a lavender glossy leather handbag the size of my wife's bra, (Yes that is fucking big!) black leather driving gloves, lime green heels, (To go with some of the plant life on her pants I guess?) and yes... a matching green belt! Can I throw in the fact that she is pasty white and she wears hooker red lipstick!?!?! (No Hunny... the red does not work on her like it does on you with me!!!!)
All I can say is, "What the hell?"
Toner Boy
**Get Eve of Samhain by Lisa Sanchez on Amazon.com starting May 25th!**
I know that only 4 of you out there still read this thing, (one of you is the person of topic, and the rest of you already know her!) but do yourself a favor, or your wife, and go and out get Smut Queen's book as soon as it is released! You will thank me later. This is the first of many books that she is doing and she will become your favorite author before you know it!
Unlike me. Her crap is readable!
I have pointed you to her blog many times, but here it again! You can take a look at the artwork for her book here. She will have a site dedicated to her book up soon, so make sure you check back here often and I will get you that information as soon as it is available. Or you can choose to follow her blog so you can stay on top of her latest projects!
For those of you looking for Toner Boy in print. You're looking at it! See the screen. It's print. My stories have proven to only tickle the fancies of the truly twisted. Yes... the 4 of you are twisted! Maybe I will make it as a porn writer? My new handle will be.... Solo Sam.
So stay updated and go out and get Lisa Sanchez's book Eve of Samhain as soon as it is released and support your local talent. No Ass Clown not the hookers!
Congrats once again Smut Queen! Now go give them filth!
Toner Boy
**Release date is May 25th and you can get your copy through Amazon.com!**
**Her website is up (Hell that was quick!) for the book. Take a look!**
Why is it anything worth talking about here happens in the bathroom?
I had just eaten some trail mix so I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. A guy in a nice suit walks in and goes back to the crapper stalls instead of using the urinals which were vacant at the time. He walks into the handicap stall, never closes the door, and leaves the seat down while he takes a leak. Dude, people have to use that thing! Well karma must have reared its ugly head on this guy and said, "3 strikes you're out!"
For those who have not had this conversation with me in person let me fill in the blanks on why this was not a good choice on his part. The toilets here are about three inches off the ground, are filled to about 70% capacity before they receive any sort of deposit, and power flush like those death traps on airplanes! The kicker is that flush is not the power it down the shoot thing that you would think it should have to get whatever man can growl into its bowl off to the Bay for the catch of the day to eat. No.... this is a clockwise swirly wash that I guess is supposed to put on a show by parading whatever you left behind for a trip around the bowl so you can say your final goodbye's to it. So what is the problem with that you say? I like a show.
The munchkin level toilets come equipped with one of those cool auto flush features that has sick sense of humor to those who choose to stand and pee at it. I am guessing the sensor picks you up as you walk up, but standing there with your legs apart as you piss it thinks that you are done with your business and it is time to go to work. When you combine a jet powered swirly flush, with a now 80% full bowl of liquid, and nothing that is going to break its momentum what you get is a tidal wave of water looking to ruin someones day!
As I get done washing my hands I walk towards the mirror by the door and grumble as I see this old bastard looking back at me. I can hear that all too well known "Click!" as the auto flush kicks in! I watch in pure pleasure out of the corner of my eye I see in the mirror this man was still taking his leak.... now holding himself as he pinches off the flow.... and trying to DANCE to miss the water as it comes over the top of the bowl and onto his pants and shoes!!!!! OMFG I am crying at this point! He is standing about three feet away from the toilet.... bottom of his pants wet... one squishy shoe.... piss and water on the floor.... holding himself... and all he says, in a this did not just happen sort of way is, "Shit."
Nope. Piss.
I wonder if he just finished his business there on the floor with the door open or if he made his way back to the bowl to give it another try? If he did I bet it all happened again! If it were me I just would have walked through the bathroom and pissed every place I could at that point! I mean what the hell it is already a GREAT fucking day!
Good times. Good times.
Toner Boy
After last night I have to start this week off by talking about Russell and just how dumb he really is on Survivor. Sure the guy had the ability to scare everyone out of the game to get himself to the final 3, but he can't figure out how that does not equate to a win when it is all said and done! How blind are you dude? Don't get me wrong... season 19 I thought that the guy was fun to watch and should have won the show because he had played the game better than the rest, and in a way that no one had in previous seasons. This season, mixed in with so many stars from previous years, he was nothing more than a cocky twerp that none of them had ever seen or heard of before. This fool was acting like the almighty God and that lying to all of them would be worth getting paid in the end. These are not a bunch of green simpletons that you are playing with and they understand the difference between game play and a person with a little mans complex and a forked tongue. I was laughing my ass off when Jeff kept trying to point out to him how dumb his really is because if he were to learn to play that last 1/3 of the game that he ignores, he might have been the best person to ever play the game. Game... yeah OK.... I love the show but it is the biggest crap shoot, popularity contest on TV.
Now on with my show....
Had a good weekend. Stayed home from work on Friday with a sore back from carrying all of this weight that I vent about on here! It was nice though. Got to do some running around with Hunny and go have some lunch. It has been a real long time since we were able to do that and even though I was a pissy asshole because my back was giving me a headache I enjoyed my day. Once we got home we got the girls ready and went over to the school for the carnival they were having. We all helped out in the AP booth and her and one of the coaches talked to a LOT of girls about coming out to cheer. The kids did some tumbling on a mat that they brought and put on a bit of a show that all of the kids enjoyed watching. Little Miss must have done 200 back handsprings while we were there! There was a little boy (OK... little is being nice. Two inches taller and he would be perfectly round!) who was rolling on the mat thinking that he was tumbling and Little Miss was looking at him and rolling her eyes like, "Dude, get up. You are not doing anything and you are wasting my mat time!" It was pretty funny to watch the expressions on her face to be honest. Albert was there for a bit with the boys and we hung out and shot the shit until his visions of pizza and beer at home got the best of him.
Saturday did some clean up around the house and put together a nice nap in the living room. Went over to The Fuzz and Smut Queen's place for some cocktails and grub. The girls did some swimming while The Fuzz and I had a few beers as I made mango salsa and blue cheese stuffed burgers. I am a little rusty, but I still got it. We sat outside after we ate and hung out. The Fuzz and I threw quarters in the pool as the kids tried to find them. All I can hear right now is Smut Queen yelling at the top of her lungs, "Foo!... Boob!" as she tried a little too hard to get the quarters before the little ones could! My beer almost shot out my nose as I laughed and looked the other way in time not to have that impression burned into my brain.
We went inside for some cake after nearly loosing an eye and got a call from Turbo. She proceeds to tell me that that old folks and McLovin are out at The Wildlife hanging out enjoying the nice weather and making s'mores. Then it happens. The s'mores have had enough of being America's campfire food and they attack! And it could only be Uncle Shartly this would happen to! As he toasts his marshmallow over the campfire too close, it does what marshmallows do and catches fire. He proceeds to try and put out his molten ball of sugar fluff like anyone else and shakes his stick. The problem comes from the stick and marshmallow being in constant communication during this process and the marshmallow convinces the stick to play the roll of a catapulting device in order for the marshmallow to invoke its revenge! After a few shakes the marshmallow builds up the proper momentum, acquires its target, and releases from his new buddy the stick and in a flaming ball of glory adheres itself, still ablaze mind you, onto Uncle Shartly's cheek and nose! The entire time McLovin is watching this unfold right in front of his eyes and looks on in intrigued astonishment as Uncle Shartly tries to beat the fire out on his face! Needless to say the member of the s'mores family chalked up a win for the team as Uncle Shartly moaned in anguish as he peeled the marshmallow and skin fragments from his face in the motor home bathroom! Eat carrot sticks.... their safe!
Sunday we finished cleaning around the house and then went over to Pop's and Turbo's for a BBQ. Turbo and I ran to Costco and grabbed some tri-tip's and some other goodies for me to cook up. Had McLovin scrub 5 months of winter off of my car just in time for it to rain again last night while I cooked. Thank you Mother Nature. Glad someone out there has a sense of humor! Uncle Shartly and Lu stopped by to eat. His face and her stomach have both recovered from the night before. Sore, but they will pull through.
Smut Queen is one step closer to her filthy words hitting our book stands! Check it out here ladies! Guys you may want to take a look to since you will be the ones asked to complete this roll play at home, or the car, later! Those ladies who are selfish out there and keep all of that excitement to yourselves and your pocket pal. Fore shame! Let me let you in on a little secret.... guys are happy to help! Why is it that a woman has no problems asking her man to "help" by throwing garbage, beating the kids, cleaning up after pets, cleaning the garage, wash dishes... but when she could "REALLY" use a hand there is not a peep said? WTF? Get on our good sides now ladies because when hot flashes kick in and you're walking around dry humping the air you are going to want us to be your new best friend! (Or at least a person with a penis that can play a facsimile of us for you!) Also Smut Queen says buying her book is thanks enough and please don't send her pictures showing her how close you and your boy toy were to recreating these moments!!!!! If you would like to share though you can email me at tonerbo..... =oÞ
Real quick we are having our raffle ticket fundraiser for the girls cheer season and we are giving away $500 cash to the winner. If you would like to get a ticket or 10 drop me a line. It does not matter where in the world you are... money travels! If you are part of Facebook you can get more information here. Tickets are only $3 each and there are deals if you want to buy more! If you are in the area we are having a BBQ, poker and Bunco event out in Tracy the day we draw for the winner!
I am done. Keep an eye out of her book and go buy it! (I plan on a five finger discount of one from her house the next time I am there and see a copy laying around. Yeah... I am now a cheap bastard! I said it.)
Toner Boy
I got nothing.
So in lieu of my tidbits on knowledge here are a few funny thoughts.
_________
I am pissed that I have always eaten women plain when I heard I could get them battered.
If eyes are the window to your soul, then the zipper is the window to your underwear.
Who would ever want to take a shit?
Isn't a blog just a place for a person to be a documented liar?
To those people who go onto the field during firework night at the ballgame. - Do you watch what the players do to the field everyday when they are out there before you go lay on the grass? No thank you.
Over 50% of all marriages end in divorce, but yet everyone does it time and time again. If you were told you would have the same odds your parachute would open when skydiving would you still do it? I thought not. Guess you better make sure you have the right parachute in your life.
When we were kids weren't we still eating paste and still learning multiplication in the 4th grade? Why is it that my 6 year old in the 1st grade has never eaten paste, and knows all of her multiplication facts already? Aren't they allowed to be kids anymore?
They say America is safer today then it was 30 years ago. If you agree with that statement raise your hand. No? OK... Maybe it is safer because most parents won't let their kids out of their sight in this day and age for fear of what may happen to them. Ever consider that?
How is it that you can eat corn and the very next time you shit it will be there looking unchewed, but gum which has been chewed for hours won't come out for 7 years?
If more parents were actual parents and not friends to their kids, do you think that we would have half of the problems with crime that we do today? Kids respond to two things. Loud noises and pain. Be a parent, not a friend. They will respect you, and those around them a lot more as they grow.
If they say the worse thing you can do in your life is live with regret, why do so many people ignore that fact and live their entire lives that way?
Isn't a booger just dried nose sweat?
People make fun of Mayberry, I am jealous of it.
Why is it that I man could be bleeding from his eyes, have 3 broken ribs and be suffering from migraine, but if his wife offers him sex he will do a back handspring out of his clothes to do what she pleases in a room full of loud music and flashing lights no matter how bad it hurts. Yet if she had someone hang up on her during the day at work from a dialing a wrong number, or got a paper cut she is closed for business? Guess it is true... there is no pleasing women.
If you need me to type this in Spanish, Press 2.
If a person pleads not guilty, and is found to be guilty, shouldn't there be an additional penalty for that? I know if I would lie to my parents growing up there was a penalty. So why is it OK in our court of law?
If the world is one of instant gratification, doesn't it make it one of instant pain and suffering as well?
It is a fact that dogs lick their ass. So why do so many people let them lick their face?
If humor is the best medicine, then why are so many people afraid to laugh?
If news of heinous crimes were never reported, would others ever get the idea to do the same thing?
So do you get pissed at friends that don't talk to you for a long time, or do you miss them more?
And finally...
Smile. It's infectious. Unless your Crystal Bowersox. That appears to be an infection.
Thank you... I will be here all week.
Toner Boy
Maybe it is because I am leaving at 12 to go finish working on Thunder's science project and I don't have to be here at The Great Space Coaster all day, or the fact that I had a great weekend. Either way damn good day for a Monday!
Had a good weekend catching up with Zebra and Game Time on Saturday night as we were out with After 6 and Monkey for a bite to eat and some drinks. Just sort of picked up right where we left off as a group and had a good time. Hunny made a new, old friend in Ta-Keel-Ya. Personally I think I am going to start slipping it into everything she eats or drinks!
Mother's Day was great as we went over to Turbo's and me and Pops went and bought food for all the ladies and I got my cook on! Made salmon 2 ways, (Italian Herb and Cajun Sweet & Spicy) Italian Brussels sprouts with red pepper, smashed garlic potato cakes, BBQ chicken and burgers for the kids. We wrapped up dinner with a game of cards and watched Lu beat on Pops for the two of us cheating (So they think!) at our end of the table. We are pretty bad cheats, because we both lost!
I know my lack of crankiness is not sitting well on your reading palate today so I am keeping this one short and sweet today.
I will say that Penis is missing today (Not mine!) so it is a little nicer being here.
Influenza sounds like Ferris Bueller over there playing the keyboard when he was sick with shit squirting out of her every which way.
Wall Street is a fricken joke.
Huckaby pleads guilty this morning and is going to burn in hell as she should. Sick bith! (That's for you Ed!) If they give her anything less then a life sentence then a second crime would be committed! (June 12th they can sentence her anywhere from 25 years to life without parole.)
My left hand itches which either tells me that it misses me, or there is a money windfall coming my way. I hope it keeps missing me for a long ass time!
Damn it! Influenza just came over to ask me for help and she kept wanting me to sit down in her chair and work on her computer. No, No, No Rose! I will tell you what to fix lady, and if that does not work I will go back to my desk to work on your shit remotely where it is much safer! I am not about to touch your snot spattered keyboard and mouse! There are wads of used Kleenex on her desk, cold pills, hot tea and what I thought was real funny a bottle of Spic 'n Span! I am taking my Germ X bath as we speak!
Someone put a quarter in Mr. Fro-Rogers this morning because he has come over to my little pleasure palace here and has ear fucked me without even a kiss for the last half hour. Blah, blah, blah.... Dude, go home and do that shit to your wife. Don't sit here and rape me! Your wife's parts are made for this sort of beating, and my ear... not so much!
Creeper has got some new shoes, but he needs to remove the $7 in change in his pockets if he wants to go around on the down low.
Cracker just busted his second soda at 10:11 this morning. Oh... and I hear a bag of chips as well!
I think that is all she wrote for today. Catch you next time I am in a crappy mood so you can enjoy your read a little more!
Toner Boy.... Ta-Keee-La! (You know in that little voice from the end of the Shimmy Shimmy Cocoa Bop song!) (Bet you sing it all day now. Just sayin.)
Science Boy! Helping Thunder this morning do her project for her science fair next week. Should be good. After all it is about food, and who better to help her screw that up?
There are some new additions to The who's who, so make sure you stay on top of things!
It was a quiet end to the week on the front lines. Hack came out and had lunch with me at the 5 star, I mean dollar, Subway. Exquisite. The Spicy Italian was never better. The sandwich was pretty good as well. It was good to see Hack, it had been a while. Damn that fucker gets uglier with age. Poor bastard.
Hunny, Monkey and some of the girls went to see The Nuts last night. No not mine. I was sad too. The Modesto Nuts. So the girls and I, after Snap, Crackle & Pop's game, went over to Turbo's to hang out for a bit. After 6 joined us for a cocktail and we looked for flights to the night Bristol race coming up in August. We think we are going to the the total bender! The red eye there on Wednesday night from SFO, and the do the all nighter on Saturday. After the race we will burn an hour or two at a bar and then drive back down to Charlotte to fly out at the butt crack of dawn on Sunday morning. God help us!
We are going to request the services of Keystone Cop and park at his place on Wednesday night so he take us over to the airport, and pick us back up when we get into town on Sunday afternoon. I am sure this will go over like a fart in church! I may have to sober up once we land long enough to cook a meal for him and Live @ 5 before we can head home as a repayment. It will be fun to get their kitchen dirty! After all of this I am sure After 6 and I will have to stop off in the city for one last drink before we head back home. Shame.
Going out for some drinks tonight with Hunny, Monkey, After 6, Zebra and Game Time for a late birthday, early Mother's Day sort of thing. It will be good. Maybe a little odd at first, but good. I have not seen Zebra and Game Time in almost a year now. The have had a rough year personally, and it kills me that we don't spend time with them like we used too. But they have had a rough stretch of road, and have needed their space from a lot of the hoopla the comes with us white folks! Just wanted to remind them that I love them and their family as if it were my own. Great people and I hope they know what they mean to a lot of us! (I know... where is the laughing shit asshole?)
Mother's Day tomorrow for those of you not paying attention and are reading my blog instead of out shopping! Going to go with Pop's in the morning to get some food to make for all the ladies so we can wish them a Happy Mother's day proper like. Nothing over the top. Maybe just some salmon, veggies and a salad. Nice, light and full of flavor. Yep that's right.... going to get my cook on.
McLovin went out and saw Corn to get his tat touched up yesterday. Corn gave me a call after and let the cat out of the bag because I had no idea that McLovin was going to be out there. Had to admit I was jealous. What is so cool about McLovin's tat... if you put a flashlight to his chest an image of the tattoo on his back gets projected onto the wall behind him!
Corn said that I need to get back in the chair so we can finish some of out previous work, and that he would either make a run out on the down low to come see me here in town, or maybe we could set something up where I can make time to get into the shop. I think I will have to tempt him out here with some food! Not to mention a place to crash because he just might be out here a few days as I see requests from Tracy pouring onto his Facebook page for a roadie! Time to get that travel box ready bro! For the rest of you... the line forms here! Also, I hate to tell ya'll, but I have MANY hours worth of work to do so we will see you on day 2! Oh yeah... and bring cash. What will it be dawg? Rocky Mountain Oysters? Menudo? Or should I go with what the others will eat and maybe a rib BBQ? Some deep fried mango salsa and blue cheese burgers? Huh, huh? You know you want to come and get your grub on!
Off to play with my food.
Until next week, or some real funny crap that springs up this weekend! I know this one was sort of blahzie, mushy, facty sorta stuff and ya'll want the pee factor. Chill peeps... I will get my game on!
Must be running low on toner or something.
Toner Boy
There are a few things that I do not mind about my drive into work and the occasional laughter is one of them.
As I am driving around the Lake to the office this morning I was spending a few minutes appreciating the exercise gear worn in the warmer months by a few of the fit ladies out for their morning run. (It is only looking, so save your comments!) There is a grass buffer between the sidewalk and the street where I see a heavy set man and his dog who has just finished his morning business. (It is SO much better than the mornings where I drive by in time to see a dog in his military hunch, grinding one out with a look on his face like, "Uhhhh I needed to drink more water." or, "Did you have to feed me that peanut butter you asshole?" and looking at you in your car as you drive past.)
I only mention that the person was heavy set, OK fat, because once his dog has done his doodie it was time for the owner to do his duty. The man starts to squat down with his plastic bag on his right hand and his dogs leash in his left. To brace himself he places his left hand on his knee as he reaches to wrap his right hand around that warm grass cookie left behind by his best friend. Well his buddy has his own agenda and certain things seem to take precedence over the fact that "Master" is picking up your feces with his own hand. Yeah I know there is a plastic bag between the two, but come on! It is paper thin! You know as he is grabbing this warm pile of reworked table scraps from the night before that he wants to gag as he can feel the heat transfer from it to his palm!
As his fat ass had just about corralled that last chunk of warm butt brownie into his hand, not to mention that I am sure he is just about out of breath from the pressure being applied to his ribcage from his gut... it happens. Ever see the movie UP? Then the term, "Squirrel!" means a lot to you right about now. Something catches the dogs eye as the man is fumbling with the turds trying to grab them all with a precise grip. (Come on... grip it too soft and you just keep dropping the butt nuggets like he was doing. But if you grip it to firm you take the chance of your finger going through that hand condom and right into poop. Now tell me... which grip are you going to lean towards? Yeah... you would be fumbling the dogs crap as well!) With no regard for his best friend who is out of breath and picking up his shit with his hand the dog goes "Squirrel!" on his ass!
The dog attempts to dart across the street for something more appealing to him while the slack in the leash has become a thing of the past, and it looks like a fishing line going taut with a monster on the hook! This in turn yanks the mans hand off of his knee which he is using to still allow a few wisps of wind into his lungs as he braced for his morning Easter egg hunt. "And DOOOWWWN goes Frazier!!!! Down goes Fraizer!" This poor man with his arm half ripped out of the socket does a face plant. Lucky for him that he is still on this mow strip of grass, and that his dogs crap is in his hand and not embedded into his teeth at this point. I do have 20:1 odds that the surprise of his dog bolting made increase that squeeze factor of his right hand a weee bit higher than he would have cared to. He bet he will go and wash his hands extra good this morning and avoids picking his teeth with those 5 fingers any time soon. Just sayin.
I am easily entertained. What can I say?
Toner Boy
Real quick.... (Well as Twitterish as I get.)
Influenza has to have, what I assume has to be, typhoid or malaria at this point. Her sinuses are so fucked up when she sneezes now and the pressure builds up and it sounds like a party favor when it releases after each sneeze. Aaaahhh chewwww! Followed right after by, Ssqqwweeeee... Funny ass shit. She is almost like a 3 piece band!
Cracker just busted open his 4th soda of the day before the 11 o'clock hour struck.
Mr. Obvious and Trekkie are being royal pains in the ass today as they bombard me with stupidity.
Mo had her monitor go out this morning and she called me to replace it. Once I was over there swapping it out for her she apologized for "not being considerate" last week. Just when I think I have people figured out, she goes and says shes sorry. Whatever you bitch. I hope your girlfriends tongue falls off.
Those that were nice enough to Mega Lotto prayer for me last week, I ask for your well wishes once again tonight. For those who don't want to join in... may a family of ticks take up residence in your shorts!
Don't forget fellas that Mothers Day is this weekend. Show those special ladies in your life what they have meant to you and your kids. For those of you with more than 1 special lady in your life, after counting your mother of course, all the best of luck to you on not saying the wrong name during the day as you travel from lady to lady. Makes it real hard for you to sell them on you giving them some "special day" lovin!
Penis just either had some "air in the line" when he climaxed, or just had a real chunky burp when he walked by. What the hell is this? "Get your gas out corner!" I swear... do they not see me sitting here? I am going to go into my next meeting with him and just blow ass until he wants to heave just to prove a point. My Lord.
I think Ice Shaker has ants in his pants because he has gotten up from his desk no less than 20 times today to walk out to the lobby. God only knows what in the hell he is doing, but I feel like he is running track around my cube I have seen his bald ass head go by so many times!
Working on another overworked spreadsheet with Anyway again today. Someone please help me! No? OK, then please help him get the words out. I just want to hit him on the back of the head sometimes because I think that he is stuck!
Still need that fucking bell for Wigglesworth!
One of the auditors needed help with a formula for his spreadsheet today and all I did was ask him a simple question of what factors he was using to try and get his answer. You would have thought that I had asked him who he was cheating on his wife with! There was so much deliberation and hemming and hawing going on it was not even funny. Finally I just told him to show me how he would do it on the financial calculator and I will figure out the formula myself. Bingo! I found the source of the problem... he did not even know how that worked! Can't fix stupid.
Ahh... there goes The Throat! Thought I forgot about her huh? Nope. Just ain't heard the bitch for a few days. Thought maybe she got her flapper fixed or something. No such luck.
I want to rant on the stock market swings the last few days, but I am going to leave that alone because that is even stupider than the last guy I spoke of.
I have been told that my blogs are way to long for most of you to read so starting now I will be posting condensed versions of my stories.
Yesterday. Traffic. Guy got pissed. Brake checked. Cars scatter like Chiclets hitting the ground. Today. Walking. Lady fell. Should have seen it. (Is that better?)
Toner Boy
Yeah I have been hit hard with many realities this weekend, and none of them I am happy about! The most obvious one... Monday always follows Sunday. What a harsh sucky reality that is to come to grips with.
Come on... you have to put this into context because prior to this, to me, there was no difference in days of the week. When you are an 8 to 5 slob, like I am now, (Sorry to those of you have have always punched a time clock and do your work during set hours of the day. Nothing wrong with it... it is just not for me. I have always been one to enjoy what you do, and get that job done whether it took you an hour or 14. It is all about enjoying what you do. That is a job, and not work.) you come to realize that Monday is the beginning of 5 consecutively tedious days in a row. There is no pleasure, only pain. The pain of waking up at 3:00, 3:24, 4:02, 4:18, 4:35, 4:57 and 4:59 to check the clock and turn off the alarm before it goes off at 5:00, the 500 mile weekly commute during peak traffic hours, dealing with problematic simpletons for 9 hours a day who can't even master remembering a password from week to week, (The following is the part I mind the least because at least I am home. There is beer there to help cure what ails me. Nothing list sympathy in a bottle. The liquid memory eraser. An ice cold... sorry. I am making this about loved ones, and not my left field points you have come to enjoy. Oh yeah, the family is there too.) helping with homework while I try to piecemeal together a decent meal out of what I can find in the house, get the girls to bed so we can try and have a few minutes to ourselves before crashing in bed to start my adventure all over again the next day, (Come on... to watch TV and catch up on the 4 weeks worth of shows I have yet to watch, not THAT! Don't go getting all nervous and excited for me.) turn on Facebook to see that one of my many asshole friends has already commented on the show I am trying to watch so I already know what in the hell is going to happen, and then I go cry myself to sleep. I know you are jealous.
Sorry I am a little punchy today. I was up with Thunder at 3am doing a breathing treatment because she was starting to wheeze and cough, and could not go back to sleep after she was done. So I am not quite sure if this should be a Random Rant, or just another post. Screw it. I am already here. It is a post. Still going to rant though so be warned.
There are some new additions to The who's who. I don't like any of them, so don't get too excited to find yourself there at this point!
So the weekend started off in glorious fashion with a brisk 2 hour drive home on Friday night, and I should have known this was the sign of things to come. After all it was another reality of my life that I once again have come to grips with this weekend. They will give any dip shit a drivers license and I have to accept that. Reality... check. Went over to Turbo's because Rocco and Auntie were leaving in the morning to head back to Vegas so we wanted to hang out one more night before they headed home. Had some good food, a few drinks (Odd I know.), watched them pack up the car and home to bed for a good night sleep.
Little Miss is up at 2 roaming the halls, Thunder is up at 5 sounding like a squeeze toy with each breath and I feel like the heater is on in the house sweating bullets for some reason. That was some restful sleep, let me tell you! I got up and got her a breathing treatment and was awake at that point so I just went downstairs to play some poker on the computer. After all I was going a friend's house that night to play some cards, so it might not be a bad idea to see a few hands. Thunder comes down 15 mins later and hangs out with me once she is done with her treatment. Little Miss joins us about 7:30 for a full blown morning of Disney channel, poker and Webkinz in the living room. By 8am I have mixed in a mimosa for myself and egg sandwiches for the girls. Only in America can a food and entertainment combo like this exist. **OK Influenza is over there talking on her phone and sneezing at the same time. Nothing new except the fact that she tried to plug her nose when she sneezed and it sounded like a balloon with a leak! I am sure she has snot all over her fingers as well because the leaking balloon sounded like a person with a saliva problem blew it up. I can just picture her over the with one hand pinching her nose and popping snot bubbles with the other as she entertains herself!! AHAHAHA** Checked my Mega numbers and saw that there was no winner. Verified there had been no deposits to my checking account from the Lotto office so I will be back in Oakland on Monday for work. Reality.... check.
That afternoon all the girls went to do some shopping and I had run over to Turbo's to make some seafood Thai soup that I have been wanting to try. Not bad for my first go round, but I have some ideas to make it better next time for sure. I started making some Zuppa Toscona as well, but left to go play cards with the boys and Hunny finished it up with me. (Had a little taste of that one yesterday and she did a kick ass job because it was off the hook!) Drove over to Ass Clown's house and road over with him to Ducky's. After Ass Clown realized that Ducky's poker chips were still at my house from one of our poker fundraisers we called Silent but deadly to go back home and grab his chips before coming over. Not 10 minutes later Ducky says, "I hope he's got cards too." Are you shitting me? Glad you are only planning this poker game out and not the next battle plan for the war on terrorism! "OK. Did anyone bring those pictures of those bearded guys getting out of the shower that they wanted us to find? Wow. Are you sure these are them? Do they look all the same to you? Oh wait this guy has glasses. OK team, listen up. Look for a guy with a white sheet wrapped on his head, huh... they use sheets not towels. And they call us dumb? As I was saying, a black beard, wearing a another white sheet as a dress, dark skinned, and most importantly a pair of glasses. The glasses are a dead giveaway as it appears that no one else in this country wears them. No, really... look. None of these other guys in the pictures are wearing glasses. See I told you. So, shot on site. *BANG* Hmmm... nope. That's not him. OK... plan B. Hmmm.... I got nothing."
Sorry for my little detour there. So Ducky texts Silent but deadly **Another sneeze whistle. I don't know whether I should say bless you, or look for an oncoming train!** and tells him to grab some cards if he does not have any. Well luck for him he just happened to be at Hooter's at the time so he picked up a deck of their playing cards. Big mistake!! **Gross! Now a big wet reverse snort as she sucked the snot back in. Ewww!** We open the deck to a windfall of kinda sorta bikini wearing young ladies that have their fathers in a deep depression thinking about their male "friends" use them as slip 'n slides I am sure.
OK another quick left turn for my weekend full of realities here. I have never been an ultra competitive person. I enjoy a good competition and am I not a fan of loosing, but I have never been one to just piss and moan if I lost at something. (For all of you laughing right now... up yours... I was much younger then!) Nor have I sat there and bragged until your ears bled if I won. OK... maybe once in a while, but you deserved it! What I have come to realize is that ever since all of this Toner Boy life hit me, I have the attention span of a gnat and I find myself focusing less and less on coming out on top when I do things. Hell on top, bottom, the side, from behind, over the shoulder... as long as I am com....eeee... Oops. Sorry. But I really have no killer instinct at all these days and I can almost see how places like this, turn people into... well... people like this. So, GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE! I am being serious! At this point I will be a female fluffer after she's given up sloppy seconds to a mule! At least after I work on my gag reflex I would be having more fun than I am having here. Hook a brotha up! See... attention span of a gnat. Back to our hero... So I had this epiphany during our card game that I need to apply to my life. Not going to say what it is, but after dwelling on it for a day yesterday, (You know sort of facing the fears of what got me here, and in part changed how I treat things in turn keeping me here. Blah, blah, blah.) I have decided to that from this point on make some changes. I will let you all know what the results of these little changes are down the road. (Like any of you give a rats ass. "Just make me laugh little drummer boy!" AHAHAHA) Could be what the doctor ordered, or it could be a train wreck of epic proportions. But once again, it was... Reality... check.
Back to cards. Now this is no high stakes blood game, but still money is money these days, and it is not like any of us are living high on the hog right now. I used to go over and play cards with these guys all of the time and never walked away with less money than I had come with. These fuckers were beating on me like a drum! Sure some of it was just catching cards, but I got my ass outplayed and worked for 3 hours by these guys. Every dog has their day I know, but this has been going on for over a year now. Ducky has a challenging enough time spreading peanut butter on his bread, let alone be able to treat me like a bitch playing cards. I am not saying that he is dumb, but a Doc Holliday at the card table he is not. The first game Ass Clown once again wins the pot and I get my money back coming in second. After getting just sexually abused in the second game by Ass Clown after calling my sizeable A-Q suited pre-flop raise with his 3-5 off suite, (Yes 3-5 off suite!) he hits two pair on the flop and I catch top pair with my aces as the flop is 5-3-A. He goes all in and I call and then hits his boat on 4th street with another 5 and I got so pissed I just picked up the board and mucked my cards. About 4 seconds after I did this and everyone was having a great laugh at what just took place as he hit a boat and beat me playing those cards, I realized that I still had 2 outs that I could have hit on the river with the remaining two aces. I was not about to say anything at the time because laughter would have turned to ridicule and I was already on melt down tilt!
After cleaning my blood of off his shank (No not his parapet!) he finishes me off by hitting a miracle card on the river, and CALLS IT before it comes out. He just sticks it in and breaks it off this time. I was the asshole dealing both of these hands so I had no one to blame for the cards that were dealt but myself. So I sit and fester like an open wound while they finish out the 2nd game. Flashback to my moment of enlightenment. Insert moment here. I don't cash in the last game, but I played cards a hell of a lot better than I had all night with nothing more than rags most every hand. Ass Clown got knocked out first and that was all the satisfaction I needed not to jump from his truck on the freeway during the ride home. So down $40 bucks, up a slight buzz, (Go figure?) up a $25 Subway gift card that Ducky gave me before this beat down commenced out of the goodness of his heart and not pitty, and lastly something for me to think about we headed home. Ass Clown has sort of become my Lex Luthor in many ways over the last few years. Not to say that I am like some freaking Adonis with the Midas touch and the only way I lose is if I beat myself, (Too good not to be a pun.) but it seems no matter what we do anymore I am just his redheaded stepchild! Golf, bowling, poker. Hell even his wife has said he is servicing her better than me these days! I mean she said it was always close, because he had some of his left handed tricks that I could not pull off, but this was the last straw. Enough is enough. If you don't put the effort in, you don't get the results out. Reality... check.
I had a hell of a lot more, and it is only Saturday night at this point but my eyes are playing ping pong inside my empty head! I will wrap this up when my brain starts working again in a day or so. Going to finish my rum and Dr. Pepper and plant my face in a nice supple and welcoming mound of.... p... illow. Gotcha.
Toner Boy
