Yep, Monday the 13th.....

The lessor known and far worse day on the calendar.  At least on Friday the 13th you have the weekend to recover from whatever horror was brought upon you.  On Monday the 13th, you have all week to be reminded of it as you look at your co-workers!

Well I hope that every ones weekend lived up to its billing. *Crack*  Wow... an early start for Cracker today.  Must have been that weekend in football that has him reaching for the soda so early.  You know... to settle the belly.  I know that the performance of the Bay Area teams made me sick!  Wow, they sucked!

Well my Monday is in full flight first thing in the morning today.  First of all let me state that I am thankful to get out of the weekend with my life.  Found out there is an organ snatcher on the loose.  Yeah.  It was texted to me.  No really.  We Googled it and Snooki said so.  Whew....

Back to today.... Yeah here at the Colonoscopy Training Center for the Blind we are in full bore!

Trekkie came in and then beamed out for some reason known only to him.  Must have been a World of Warcraft meeting he had to attend.

Obvious is being a full blown pain in my ass today.  You know.... he is talking to me without a request on my part for him to do so.  What da hell?

The Whisperer, Funk and Wagnalls and one of the other turd pushers are unable to push the proper keys on their keyboards as they locked themselves out of their computers this morning.

No Friends is wearing brown stretchy pants with a fuchsia skirt with what looks like bed skirts layered on it, black shoes, black shirt, brown vest and her Duraflame red hair.  *Crack* (Not as bad as it appears... it has been an hour.  I know Ednolb would be going into soda shock waiting that long, but it was only about 5 minutes of reading after all!)

Speaking of the devil.... Cracker just came over and told me things are not as bad as they looked for the Raiders after yesterday.  I told him he was right.  There are only 15 games left on the schedule, and not 16 like before.  He got mad and left.  What?  He knows I am a Raiders fan right?  Could be worse.... could be a Niners fan after this weekend.  Wait Hunny, come here!

So what about the weekend that was now that I have pissed everyone off?  Damn it is cold in this place.  You would swear I was in an ice bath or something.  No Hunny really, come back!

Friday was a great drive home.  Only took 2 and a half hours.  Woot-woot!  I did drive by a truck-b-que that made me hungry after 2 hours.  Made me crave... what was it again Infidel?  Fried chicken and corn bread?

Saturday we got up early and went to the Bean Festival in the morning.  Met up with much of The SC while we were there and had a good time hanging out with everyone.  Our friends daughters are part of the Royal Court and they did a talent show that was a lot of fun as well.  Bought some fudge from Momma Ruth at her grandparents booth while we were there.  Damn good stuff I must say!  In the afternoon me and McLovin went out to the tattoo shop so I could play in the poker tournament they were having and visit corn.  Needless to say, like everything else, it was not my day!  Played soft with AQ in the big blind and tried to nail someone to the wall VERY early in the event and hit a pair of Q's on the flop.  I checked them and then spiked an A on the turn for top 2 pair.  Yeah well some ass hat flopped a set of 6's and road me like Seabiscuit to the river for all my chips.  Buh-bye.  The only plus to the day is I got all of my artwork in place for Corn to do my next tat when he gets the time.  We went back to Turbo's and had a killer dinner made by Hunny.  No not 'Man Down' killer.... kick ass killer!  See... told you that you could cook more than tater tots! (Can you feel the air as I try and suck up from my earlier bombs?)

Sunday we got up with the chickens to go over to After 6 and Monkey's house for the kick in the nuts, I mean kickoff to the football season.  I have been to funner wakes.  There was some good grub though!  The fun kicked in until we ran out of ice.  Then the fun really kicked in when we found out there was a real need for the ice if we wanted to live.  Or at least visit Mardi Gras and live once they cut out your kidneys and liver.  We also learned that texted is a noun for some of us.  Others of us would rather not admit that it is a word.  I am one of those people who thinks that Webster's Dictionary is on crack for saying it is!  Dictionary.com from now on is the only way I fly... they are with me!  When you type in texted on Dictionary.com and click search, the results come back 'Are you serious?'  I like this site more than porn now.  OK.... more than gay porn at least.  OK... guy on guy gay porn.  There.  What is funny that blogger is even saying that texted is not a word as I am typing it right now! AHAHAHA Texted, texted, texted... that is some funny shit!  Late addition!!!!  I forgot to mention that we also learned that OJ is innocent of going Ginsu on his wife and her hump per Monkey.  Yeah figure that one out!

OK now that my wife and Ednolb are no longer talking to me..... can a brother get some ice to slow the bleeding? (For those of you not laughing.... you missed-ed a moment in time that just can not be recreated!  Thanks for the laughs girls!!  You too McLovin... you were quick on the draw!  Don't let word of that get out to the ladies though!)

Thunder is playing in her first volleyball game for the school today!  Good luck and don't hurt anyone like Foo would!

Warren Buffett rules out any chance of a double dip recession with the growth of the economy.  Really?  Dude, not only do we NOT live in your world.... you lose more money in the dryer falling out of your pants pockets than most of us will ever see again.  Keep your opinions to yourself!  Ask someone looking for a job if they feel the same way.  These fools need a clear dose of reality.  Why do people listen to the opinions of the filthy rich?  Because they are rich?  What is going on in the day to day lives of us normal folks tidal waves of economic change... for them someone just skipped a penny across a glass-like pond.  You have no sense of reality when you have that much money, so shut your hole and go back to Nebraska!

Keystone Cop and Corn got those new HTC Evo phones and let me tell you they are nice!  The only downside that I can find to them is a just horrible battery life, even for smart phones.  When will these phone companies stop teasing us and give us a phone what we can use without being attached to a wall charger at the same time?  I mean if you have an iPho... hello?  Are you still there?  Hello?

Just went up stairs and walked past Pigpen's cube.  I am guessing she attended the Bean Festival as well for some reason.  Damn.  I think Bean-O should sponser next years event.  Just sayin....

Well like bad yeast in a loaf of bread, I once again I did not rise to the occasion.

Toner Boy

Also for those of you who have searched texted on Dictionary.com..... I thank you for giving my little joke the extra legs it deserved.