So I walk into the office this morning and almost fall down blind because No Friends has pulled the ultimate Ronald McDonald by dying her hair.... well.... RED! No, no, no.... not smokin hot redhead red.... FIRE ENGINE RED! Hence the name No Friends! Her hair dresser has to just hate her guts to let her walk out the door looking like that!
I will say sorry from now... it is Friday... I am bored... and I am trying to do whatever I can to get this day over! So all of you... are my victims! Suck it up, and deal with it.
So a quick show of hands. How many of you are going to be willing to visit me monthly at Napa State Mental Hospital as I play with Play-Doh and boogers? Oh come on! I am sure it will be well worth the drive! You just know I will snap and start trying to change out toner in the printers or fix computers without rhyme or reason. Replacing the green toner with smashed peas while sitting on top of the printer naked yelling, "Print now! Print now!" Sticking a piece of gum under the 'Z' key so the first time the hit it it sticks and I come up behind them yelling, "Puter is tired! Go to sleep! Nappy time!" Going on the server and change all the passwords to 'notagainDummy' with a phone duct tapped to my ear and a cut off phone cord hanging down to my side saying, "What do you want your password to be this hour?"
I know Infidel would visit, just because she is sick like that! Hell she would probably make me do toe lifts while they have me strapped down to my bed with a Prozac drip running in my forehead for direct access while telling me, "Come on! Two more you sissy! Now quit drooling all over yourself and puke!"
OK.... flash back 4 months to present day. How is everyone doing today? Ready for the weekend? Thanks Ducky for making sure Dummy called me today with your 7am text about forgetting your own password. Dude, I am telling you.... it was going to happen with or without your text, but that sealed it! I am telling you this is no joke! There are 4 possible passwords that one has to use here to get into various applications and systems. I have changed at least 20 passwords for her in 2 days! Yeah... that is the same ones more than once within this daily 8 hour drool fest!
Penis proceeded to tell me how to go about getting an average when working with numbers in a spreadsheet. Really? The big number goes into the little one? No fucking way! All this time I thought 1 was 400% of 4! I'll be dipped. Guess that is why he is the chief and I am just the wee lil' Indian here. I told him that if I were confused about that to just shoot me now. Then I begged him to just get it over with and shoot me now! Still here. Rat bastard.
Looks like my dance card for the weekend is now full, if not over booked! Tonight Keystone Cop and Live at 5 are coming out for a visit to Turbo's. We might make it to the Tracy High football game to I Spy on Foo and Momma Ruth. Tomorrow Ass Clown is having a get together at his place and Noodle is playing football that night. Rocco is still going to be in town so there may very well be a to-do over at Turbo's as well, and I have our fantasy football draft first thing in the morning. Sunday we are going to an SC gathering and to TP Ed's house if she does not make it out. There is a BBQ at a high school buddies and Albert and I are going to try and hit early in the day. There is another party that friends are having that we are going to try to attend later in the night if we can. I have a couple of hunts that I need to address during that time and then things to do around the house on Monday. Damn that is a lot of shit! You know what... it is all good though. I would have it NO other way! So everyone we will see you at some point, or at least do our damn best to make it with food in hand! Hold on Hunny... it is going to be a bumpy ride! Not to mention we have a lot of running around to do! What?
OK... coffee has worn off, time has gone still, and mind has gone blank. Is this the calm before the storm? Am I shutting down? Nope. Just turning into one of them. A county employee. Nothing goes in, and nothing goes out. Your mind goes blank and you are unable to think. Nothing seems to matter and all you can see is your computer screen. There is nothing y... 'SQUIRREL' ...ou can do to stop it.
Told you I was bored.
I would like to thank New York's newest resident Tiger Woods for playing like crap today after starting him in my fantasy league this week. Guess that $54 mil you pulled out of your house so you could buy in NYC is weighing on you a bit there huh Eldrick? 3-over through 5... Hack plays better. OK... I am pulling your leg, but still. COME ON!
Preseason football is over and college football is here! Now bring on some fall weather, lets eat comfort food and get fat! Woot-Woot! (Is that how it goes Smut Queen?)
OK... well lunch is almost here so I can go take a nap. I hope nap time in Napa will be at noon as well. I am starting to get used to it and expect it!
Be safe and happy hunting!
Toner Boy
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