No real shock.... the Raiders are still the Raiders, and will be as long as Al still owns them. Lets face fast people. The only time we have been good in the last 19 years was a 4 year window when Al let Gruden run the show. Chucky became a cult icon and Al wanted no one to forget that the sweatsuit still owns the show. Someone please tell me who looked more confused.... Campbell figuring out how to slide feet first, or Al wearing a sweater and a jacket in balmy Tennessee? Campbell kept sitting down and I hate to tell Al that it was in the low 90's and 90% humidity!
The Ravens have Godzilla as a middle linebacker because I saw Jets crashing all over that field last night around him! Dude is straight savage and you have to be out of your mind to think that you are going to get out of 60 minutes with him unscathed! He was all over the field and there were two hits that had guys blowing snot bubbles! Trust me Greene and Keller will go into the fetal position right there in the huddle if their numbers are called to go across the middle of the field against the Ravens again in their careers. I bet you after that last hit Keller went to the sidelines and when he was asked if he was OK he came back with, 'Of course. I am Batman!' (Insert old Snickers commercial from 90's here!) Ray Lewis is a man among boys.
Not throwing jabs here, but the biggest 'WTF' of Sunday has to go to the Niners! This is a team that some people said would have home field advantage throughout the playoffs this season, and they got their asses handed to them by the Seachickens! The D did not play anywhere near their billing and they looked lost on offense. Davis's ripping of Crabtree looks well founded as he was running around like a lost puppy out there. I know everyone and their brother wants to rip Alex Smith, and to a point you should, but when your receivers routes look like the lunch bell just rang at a Latch Key class.... you try throwing to them!
I hate touted prodigies for the most part, and teams in the AFC West... but the Chiefs are for real! Between the world blowing Cassel and Haley before they had ever accomplished anything, just because they are the spawn of that voyeur Belichick, they were just instantly put on my shit list. Those kids can play some ball and will own the AFC West real quick if the other teams in the division are not on top of their game. Last night was no fluke. They can win some games and may not do it all this year. I am sure their youth will show its face from time to time and they will get gashed like the Raiders do week in and week out, but in the long run... these guys are going to be good!
The Chiefs rivals for the next few years in the AFC?? The Texans! They are big, young, strong, and fast! Johnson is the best overall receiver in the league and Schaub is no flash in the pan. With Foster running the rock, and Slaton catching passes out of the backfield in addition to that aerial attack.... ouch! Stout defense, a great owner and smart coaching staff.... yeah they are going to be a team to fear come January! Consider yourself warned.
The Pats are going to be doing things with smoke and mirrors this season, and their fans are going to have a roller coaster ride until the end. Their schedule is brutal as hell and that defense will give up more than they will stop in the long run. You know sort of like a fat hooker.... you may think it is OK to rent her for an hour because she probably has low mileage on her, but the brunt reality is she has been ridden more than Seattle Slew! Those extra LB's just make her feel like low mileage.... if you get my drift. *Wink-Wink* Doubt me now.... acknowledge me later.
Cowboys your fate is the same as the Pats. The only difference is you have 99% of the players you need to make a long run, but with a QB as bright as a port-a-potty cleaners outlook on life after clean up call from a Raiders home game.... an owner who is worse than the cast of The View when it comes to getting into peoples business.... and a coaching staff that is better suited for running a Tijuana Churro cart because the recipe won't confuse them! Yeah, my Spidey Senses don't tell me that this is a recipe for success for some reason.
Hate to say it Payton, but the Colts are done. Very simple... no Bob Saunders... no title. There are more holes that need to be filled in that defense than a gang bang at a Roman bathhouse! And you are not going to be able to throw your way through the playoffs again this season, like you did last season. The Texans are going to be your worst nightmare going forward, and your new contract extension that you want is going to kill your chance to reload. I think you are the best QB in football by a long shot, but sorry. Not going to happen this year.
Steelers are a team that I am not sold on just because of the issues with QB and what seems to be an all to often injured secondary. I mean Big Ben is doing his best to plug all the wrong holes and Troy is bound to have neck issues with all that hair! Get Ben a date, and Troy a haircut and I may have a change of heart.
J-E-T-S! Jets! Jets! Jets! Fighter Jets on defense, crop dusters on offense. Unless they can go down the field like a cop goes down on a doughnut, (Sorry Fuzz!) they are not going to be able to win games the way the Ravens did 10 years ago. I know Rex is having flashbacks of Dilfer not giving games away and Ray winning them for the Ravens with his current roster, but it is just not going to happen. Rivas is going to have a so-so year and teams are going to score just enough to force them to throw the ball. That is when the shit is going to hit the fan! Sanchez is OK, but he is not going to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat very often.
A prime example of only going as far as your leader can guide you... the Chargers. The ongoing displays of 'hissy fits' that are thrown by Rivers has tones of Ryan Leaf ringing in my ears. No I am not comparing their abilities so save your comments. I am talking about neither one of them being very tightly wrapped! Between him on offense, the HGH machine on defense, and Capt. Norm at the helm... they will do as they always do and set themselves up for failure in the playoffs. It will be the dumb call, bad penalty, or bad decision made by one of them that will lead to their downfall once again. Better luck next year. NOT!
Packers just got dealt a huge blow in losing Ryan Grant for the season, but they have enough tools to play with the big boys. Rogers is a fantasy stud without question, but lets see if that translates into big wins on the field of play before we hand them the title. I know the are the 'hot pick' this season, but coming from a Tedford system has my jumpy. Great for the highlights... so-so for the big win. Hawk and the defense are a good group that will give them lots of chances though. Rooting for them... cautiously.
Don't pin your hopes on 'Brett.... Faaaav-ra' recreating that old black magic again this season unless he has sold his soul to the devil! The numbers he put up last year were the best of his 19 career at that point, and there is no room for him to improve upon them. His wide outs consist of Bill his mechanic, Fred the doorman and his cousin Earl from Kentucky currently. Brett was a little too pigheaded to think he was going to repeat last years performance by staying home and playing catch with the kids at the local high school. They have no timing and once they do his regular batch with receivers will be back and far from football shape. Even though the defense is a stout one that will not give up a lot of points, this team is destined to be a mess by seasons end.
Who Dat? Yes, yes, yes... the Saints are good. Stop crowing. Just the feel good story of the decades at this point. Blah, blah, blah. The nuts and blots of it are simply this.... Brees plays and they will score a lot of points in their new aged 'Run & Shoot' offense. The defense is solid and will be playing with a lead most of the time that will allow them to be aggressive as they want to be. BUT, don't count your chickens just yet.... They are not going to have a turnover ratio like they did last season to take advantage of and will have to play better on the road. Their schedule is not the toughest out there and they will walk into the playoffs, but the real test will come in January for this team.
Anyone with two first names worries me. Yeah Matt Ryan has put up some good numbers since coming into the league, but after showing little fight in Week 1 against a Steelers team that was not at 100% is just a sin. They seems to have all of the parts to make a run and are the sexy pick to unseat the Saints, but...... I don't know. Something just stinks in Hotlanta and I don't think it is just the B.O.!
They were nice, but not THAT impressive. I mean the beat up on a Raiders team who I guess thought that it was still preseason when they got off the bus. CJ is a ghetto fabulous running back that I just can't get behind. He wants to take claim to the best back in the league, but up until he busted one out for 75 yards he was only averaging 3 yards a carry against the leagues worst run defense last season. He is like a poor man's Barry Sanders that can score. He in no way has the gift of jelly legs and swivel hips like Barry, but he is more of the 'enough I run the ball enough... I will break free at some point' type of guy. No real respect for that... nor a guy with a gold grill! Young is much better as a QB in the league now, but I just can't see a team running the option going real far in the NFL. Very young defense may hurt them at times in the season as well. This Titan is more of a Mermaid!
Then there are the teams not even worth my breath to bring up.... the Rams (Though there is hope in the long run!), Lions (See Rams.), Cardinals (Done), Bears (With Cutler in control? He is more psycho than Rivers!), Broncos (Hope they go 0-16!), Browns (Named after marked undies.), Bengals (Come on they will have more arrests than wins!), Giants (Is it me or does Eli always look like he is lost and needs directions?), Redskins (When he retires ABC will do a mini series - 17 NFC titles, no rings. The McNabb Story), Dolphins (Nice... but not that nice.), Jags (Come on.), Panthers, (Pussy Cats.), Bucs (Gay pirates!), Bills (They are full of bullshit.), Seahawks (Too afraid of Colonel Sanders. Plus if they won they would have the trophy stripped from Carroll's rules violations.), and the Eagles (Wings were clipped at QB and sold to Hooters!)
For the record - The rule for possession in the end zone is an absolute joke! The catch by Calvin Johnson was a catch in the eyes of common sense. I mean it would be like saying that sticking it in and pulling it right back out is not considered rape. Hell he did everything but give her the money shot! The NFL is taking the best product on the market and turning it into a 'Guiding Light' sports soap opera for men. "No. Be gentle and tag, not tackle!" or "OK. I saw two feet down but my law office really wants me to get more face time so I am going to make up some shit as I go! So you grab the ball and start wandering around like you are counting shit off and try not to laugh at me as I wing this."
My picks for the season with Week 1 in the books -
AFC West - Chargers
AFC North - Ravens
AFC South - Texans
AFC East - Pats (9-7 wins the East!)
Wild Cards - Colts, Steelers
AFC Champs - Ravens
NFC West - Does it really matter? Seahawks (8-8)
NFC North - Packers
NFC South - Saints
NFC East - Giants (Could be any of them, but just throwing this out there for Ducky! Don't be too happy... whoever wins is gone in the first round!)
Wild Cards - Redskins, Falcons (Only because they have 4 free games against the Panthers and Bucs!)
*The streak lives on that the hosting cities team will not play in the Super Bowl. Sorry Cowboys, but you are not even going to make it to the playoffs this year. On the bright side... you will have another new head coach like the Raiders will next year to blame for your short comings. Too bad it is the teams owners who are the source of the problems!!!!*
NFC Champ - Saints
Super Bowl Champs - Ravens
Raiders Record - 6-10 (Rams, Cards, Denver, Seattle, Jags and a meaningless game to KC)
Niners Record - 7-9 (Raiders, Denver, Rams, Bucs, Cards, Rams, and Cards)
There are my visions from the week that was in the NFL. Just call me the Swami!!!!
Toner Boy
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