News from the front! A meeting of the mindless.....

I interrupt my story with a news flash front the frontlines!

I just came out of a meeting with Penis, Anyway, Mr. Obvious and Catching Flies! Oh my dear Lord!

The meeting was led by Catching Flies and input from Anyway. It was about how permits from each of the cities can now be input through an automated system into a database I created for them earlier in the year. Real riveting crap! But it is also where the humor comes into play! Giving these guys the ability to speak openly to a group is like assuming it is OK for Hason (Fort Hood shooter for those of you drawing a blank!) to play with guns!

I mean this already deadly conversation of boredom was intensified with each breath as neither one of them knew how to convey what it is they wanted to say! Catching Flies opened up with a ton of “Uh’s”, and “Hmmm’s” followed by a truck load of, “Now where was that?” and “What’s this?” As he staggered through this meeting like Mike Tyson in his interview after the Buster Douglas fight, he handed the keys to the car over to Anyway to give us more in depth analysis. That was a great idea!

Anyway proceeds to explain things, as only he could. I want you to imagine Jackie Chan with 67 English words removed from his arsenal and replace all of them with only, “Yeah” or “Anyway” and see how clear of a technical explanation you get! You know when you call tech support about your computer…. yeah you know what I am talking about. “Hello. My name is TO IKNSCo9pH GFshfdawenf Nfo an aksjd’lui1576 how may I help you? Oh yes, yes. Prease unprug your PC and den trype in da followring….” Been there, done that!

Once he is done Penis raises his hand and says, “I have NO clue what you just said. Is anyone else confused?” Well of course not… Anyway worked with Catching Flies on the automation, I created the database and know how all of this crap works already and Mr. Obvious can only say… well, obvious things! So Catching Flies tries as he can to explain this with a Visio file (flowchart) that looks like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum put it together. Arrows and lines going every which way, even without an event occurring that would cause you to take an action.  Bubbles filled with colors that should represent actions contain paths and file names in them instead. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MADNESS!?!?!?

Then the fireworks kick into high gear as Catching Flies mouth begins to dry. That is right… the conference room table is starting to be shelled with spit bombs! Penis is nodding off because he has NO clue what in the hell is going on, and Mr. Obvious is over there taking notes that look like etch-a-sketch doodles! I am laughing to myself with each sentence being spoke wondering what the hell I did to deserve this shit!

Catching Flies (And I hate going to the same punching bag again! Pun intended.) is starting to sound like Tyson after leaving a dentist’s office with a mouth full of gauze, or dried spit in his case, and having been overloaded with Novocain! Completely lost in his words he rambles through. Trying to use words that are just too big for him, like; the, and was. Finally be the grace of God he says, “That’s about it. Any questions or area’s you want improved?” How about your ability to speak? Stop winging those balls of white goo at me while you talk! I don’t know… are those tips worth looking into? Penis bounces too and says, “Very good. You guys did a lot of work and this is going to be a useful tool.” Really? On that note.

Toner Boy…. Out.