Miss me???

Well it has been a real long time since I have been here. My new home is here, and you can find my blogging pretty much daily throughout the work week. I just find the interaction with Facebook and the people on it to be more interesting, and it helps grind the time up in this hell hole!

Well I posted this the other day, but after bring gone for a few days it seemed to get lost in the shuffle of news and other things that I covered, and I am just not ready to let it go. So here is a post from my past week, and the events that transpired once I got back to the office!

Well it is Thursday, and Day 2 of being back here in The Swamp. Still status quo of SSDD around here except for one minor thing…. Funk has done the soft shoe out the door!!! Well not willingly. It was more of a trio he worked with two of Alameda County’s finest sheriffs!! Why does something good happen when I am not here to enjoy it? Well there is a lot to catch up on, so sit back and relax…

So yes it is true. We are now Funkless around this place. There is still a lot of funk, but no Funk! Ahhhh his cud smacking will be missed. NOT! Also while I was out McNasty retired. It may be time to start blogging again so I can update my ‘Who’s who’ section, as well as give me something to do during these slower months. Ok, they are all slow. Guess I am tired of sitting here planning for a restaurant that is never going to happen.

Real quick update from Nationals for Thunder and Little Miss for those of you who have not gotten the memo. Little Miss and Youth Gold came in second place, and suffered their first loss of the season. They were given a big penalty on Sat...urday for something the judges considered a level 3 skill, yet all level 2 teams in the gym perform the stunt the same way, and no other competition judge has ever brought this to our attention or even warned them about it prior. They ended day 1 in third place and even though they had a stunt fall on Sunday had battled back to come in second place only a few tenths of a point out of first. Yeah, that team is just that good. Very nice season to Little Miss and the rest of the Youth Gold team. Little Miss was to attend World’s for the younger teams in 2 weeks, but the gym as pulled out of the event because of injuries on Junior Red who also won an invite to LA. Unless something comes out of the woodwork Little Miss will take next season off to get some major orthodontic work done. Since she just got started she really does not want to take the year off, but you gotta do what you gotta do these days, right?

Thunder on the other hand is complete head scratcher. They were clean on both days, and pretty much flawless on Sunday and still only came in third place. Those girls deserved so much better than they got, but they left the event knowing ...that they were as good as they could be for two straight days. For Thunder it is a bit of a sour note to leave on though considering she is taking at least a year off to pursue her first passion, acting. Thunder you were awesome this season, and for 6 years straight. You never missed a practice and never fell out of a stunt while competing during that time. You showed a total commitment to the gym, your team and the sport, and for that I am very proud of you. If that happened to be your last time competing, you can walk away very proud of yourself and the person that you became while with AP. Good luck following your dreams, and Mommy and I are very proud of you.

We also really want to take a second to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts who have joined in and truly helped us out by taking part in our fund raisers when we would have them over the years. It is in large part because of you that the girls even had a chance to experience this SPORT of cheer the past couple of years. You are all wonderful friends and family and for that we thank you.

Tuesday McLovin turned the BIG 20! I had taken the day off before coming back to this shit hole, so he and I could go out to see Corn and get some work done. You know, a little father son bonding. Well Corn had people with real money com...e in the door and it was a case of ‘Boats & Hoe’s’ for him. You know… they both cost money to have, and boat these days for Corn stands for, “Bust Out Another Thousand”! So we altered plans and went to get some lunch and headed to Umigo in Livermore to meet Pops and race. After figuring out that every place in town was closed for lunch just about as we drove around we settled on L&L and headed out to get our race on. Had a great time at the track and was impressed how much better McLovin is getting driving those things! It is funny how proud you get as a parent over just the littlest of things huh? But even though I caught up to him after 10 laps to put a lap on him, the little ass fought me off from being able to make the pass! I mean for 12 laps I could not get around the little prick! Well Happy Birthday McLovin from Toner Boy. I love you, and we will catch Corn next time around! FYI – You are still a DD for another year.

Well since the last time I have posted these are just a few of the events…. Wait…. “Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of Our Lives.” Sorry. Felt needed. Besides this I just wanted to point out this year is already through... its first quarter, and if you ask me it pretty much blows just as much as the years that have preceded it. I have come to grips that Toner Boy has about the same size cult following as Chi Pet owners after 4 months, and my Gastropub hopes are the same as Sarah Palin’s White House aspirations without having to sneak in or hope Obama pulls a Bill turns to ‘the other white meat’. So much for writing my way into Adam Sandler’s heart, or cooking my way into others to save what is left of my mental state. Guess I will settle for making 6 of you laugh and feeding Ducky twice a year! Yes Ducky I know… there is nothing wrong with doing that, but for me this dog needs to hunt!

On a quick note – Government offices should be ran by only women because they can never just ask anyone straight question, or have a direct conversation on a topic without beating around the bush and having you fill in the phucking blanks like we are playing Wheel of Fortune!

Sorry… back to events. (and yes you know all kinds of news articles will follow today!) It seems that the world has turned into Jell-O in the last month. That is very fitting considering we are all going to be glowing a vibrant lime green very soon. Baseball season has kicked off and the world has picked the Red Sox to win it all. I guess someone forgot to mention that little tidbit to them considering they have yet to win a game this season. Maybe they just want to give everyone a head start to add to the excitement? The NBA and NHL playoffs are around the corner and the sports world is at a fevered pitch. So much so that Lebron’s mom took a swing at a hotel worker in Miami for talking shit about her juiced boy. I mean really… I thought he would be the one with the roid rage, not her! The NCAA March Madness ended with a thud and UConn was crowned king with a sad win over Butler. Word is Lebron wants them to either pay him royalties or use his likeness as the schools new mascot. Word on the street is if there is ever a mascot fight you would think that King James would have a large upper hand over all comers, but they have all learned if you place a championship trophy in the same room he is unable to hit anything when it counts.

OK. I have wasted a couple of hours today with this shit. Time to go outside and play Homerun Baseball on my phone. Maybe I should call the A’s over and see if they can pick up any tips from the game on how to score runs? Well I will only call the hitter since the pitching staff is well aware of this process. Peace out!

- Toner Boy